First Three Reps Don’t Count

I went surfing on the weekend…

Let me start this again

I tried to go surfing on the weekend

I love the word “try”

It’s the opposite of what was jammed down my gullet during school

“Don’t say TRY”

“Trying is weak”

“You WILL do it”

Thank you life-coaching postcard 

Any who

I tried to go surfing on the weekend

It’s been 7 years since I last caught a wave (on a stand up paddle board)

So paddling out using my arms to catch some barrels is absolutely not my forte 

The waves were nice and small 

I had a lovely friend with me who is very experienced 

And the sun came out so I could clearly see the ocean floor

But as perfect as the setup was

It took me about 30 seconds to feel completely overwhelmed 

Paddling out with a foam board meant I wasn’t able to duck-dive smoothly 

So when the waves came through whilst I was trying to make it passed the break

I got bashed around like a cork in a whirlpool 

Within just a few moments

I felt like a complete failure

“I can’t even get passed the break”

“Everyone else can do this”

“This is pathetic”

It felt strange to be speaking to myself that way

(It’s been a while since I heard such a critical voice in my head)

But then I remembered

It’s been years since I actually paddled out

And even then… I’ve was never actually able to consistently catch waves and stand up

It felt lovely to admit to myself the truth

That I have no idea what I’m doing

So why am I putting so much pressure on myself like I should know?

I then remembered one of my favourite things I read about an olympic level athlete who I’m a big fan of

“The first 3 reps don’t count”

Yes!

I love that!

The first 3 reps are purely just to get in the arena

To give one’s-self permission to suck

After those first 3 reps?

Permission to start making adjustments

But those first 3…

No correcting

No fixing

No solving

Just get messy

Just play :)

So?

I took a breath

Laughed at how much I was flailing like a drowning monkey

Paddled in the most uncoordinated fashion

And just managed to make it passed the break

(Which was a win in itself)

Did everything magically become amazing then?

Nope

It sucked

I caught one wave in

Stood up and turned to my friend with the biggest smile of the decade

But then became so tired trying to get passed the break again 

That I went an sat on the beach to catch my breath

I gave up

Tapped out

Surrendered 

And it felt glorious…

Tried to go surfing for the first time in almost a decade

Just managed to stand on one wave

WAHOO

Now time for an Açai bowl and some honest conversations with an old friend

A great first try

Yes

I still suck at surfing

I didn’t end up winning the Rip Curl Bells Beach Comp

But I’m happy

It was my first of 3 attempts

So I’m not even going to give it much thought

I’ll go suck another 2 times (at least)

Then maybe start having a think about trying to improve.

What’s my point?

When it comes to all the different aspect of managing one’s acting career

Self Tapes

Call Backs

Director Meetings

Writing Scripts

Waiting Well

Game Plans

Game Days

First Day’s on set

Handling Pressure

New Accents

New linguistic styles

Practice

Coaches

Acting Classes 

Etc

The first three reps don’t count.

Hope this helps

X 

When It’s All Too Much

Once upon a time

I was stepping off stage at the Sydney Opera House

Night after night

And I simply wanting to give up.

I was 25 years old

I had worked my bottom off from the age 15 

And I was finally leading a major production playing one of Shakespeare’s great roles

I had an expectation that this would be a dream-come-true experience

But here’s what actually happened…

Very early into rehearsals

I was holding tightly onto what my expectations were 

Where I thought I should be

Rather than accepting where I actually was

And instead of communicating that I was struggling

I went inwards

I thought I’d solve it by pushing through

Using more force

On the second show

I lost my voice

(Not the funnest situation when you know you have about 112 shows left)

To combat this

I went to the doctor

They gave me steroids for my vocal chords

A side effect from the pills was I lost sleep

I became increasingly tired

My stresses increased

Again, rather than putting my hand up and connecting with others

I went inwards and thought I would solve through pushing

(I hadn’t learned other ways yet)

I pushed some more

And on the 12th show 

I hit my hand so hard on the back wall of the stage during my opening speech

I gave myself bursitis in my right shoulder

This meant that if I held my right arm up

It would occasionally give up on me

And just fall without my knowing

I did’t ask for help

I thought I’d solve it myself

I decided to switch all physical stuff to my left arm

And on the 20th show 

I gave myself bursitis in my left shoulder

Yup

I now was on steroids for my vocal chords

Was not sleeping because of the pills 

And had no use of either of my arms

Which meant I stopped all physical activity 

It was all too much

And it didn’t take long

Before I feel into a deep dark hole

Of course I did 

I had lost the use of my body

I was pushing emotions aside

And I was letting my brain swirl in whichever direction it wanted 

Which of course, under pressure, it did what it’s designed to do in order to protect me

And became very reactive to external stimuli

So looking back

It makes complete sense to me now that 60 shows later

I found lying inside of an MRI machine

Hating everything

And reactive to everything that was outside of my control 

It was our wonderful stage manager who eventually said to me 

We have all the systems in place to take care of you

But at the end of the day

We can’t do anything unless you tell us what’s going on

It’s you who has the responsibility to say what is so for you

At that point

I fell apart

I admitted where I was 

I told them I felt like a failure because I wasn’t able to handle things the way I expected

But that I simply couldn’t sustain what was happening any more 

And within 24 hours

I had physio appointments booked in

Doctor meetings scheduled

And was sitting in my hotel room with my understudy helping him with his lines

I dropped from 8 shows a week to 6

And began to slow down

It was the start of a new chapter for me

It ignited a curiosity in sustainable performance 

And 8 years later 

When I’m not giving my own performance

I’m helping others with theirs 

Why the hell am I sharing all this?

Well

As is the norm with all natural systems

Cycles occur

Ebbs and flows

Things come in waves

And I’ve recently been reminded about this idea of when it’s all too much

In the last 3 months

I have moved from Maroubra (Place of Thunder) to Curl Curl (River of Life)

On top of filming a new Disney+ series

Studying university

Teaching 

Coaching

Auditioning 

Car shopping

And getting a nursery ready for the arrival of my first born in June

Ugh

Of course

There have been moments where it’s been too much

And where I have felt completely overwhelmed 

So

This one’s for myself today

For when it’s all to much :)

Here we go

One

Notice it

That’s bloody sure worth celebrating

Why?

Because I’m aware

And if I’m aware

Then I can make a new choice

Two

Slow down

I want to do less than I think I can handle

It takes a shit load of courage to surrender to chaos 

And to do less in a moment where my belief systems tell me to push harder and go faster

Three

Bring it back to the basics 

Shift my physiology - move & breathe

Acknowledged and accept where I actually am - give up on where I think or feel I should be

Give my Reticular Activating System clear and simple things to focus on

“I am honest, I take my time, I focus on what I can control”, etc

Four

Prioritise what is most important for now

What do I actually need to say yes to?

What do I need to let go of, or say no to?

Again, it takes trust in myself to do less than I think I can handle

Five

Connect with people I love

People who fill my cup

Who float my boat.

And finally

Remember

This is not forever

It’s just for now 

What to do next?

Go buy an ice cream 

Obviously

So

To clarify 

When it’s all too much

Slow down

And go back to basics

There is nothing sexier than the fundamentals 

That’s some sustainable stuff right there

Hope this helps

X 

Actor’s Self Talk

The world of performance coaching

By that I mean

Coaches who help artists, athletes, CEO’s, etc, perform better 

Is filled with plenty of bells and whistles

And who doesn’t love a good bell or whistle!?

The latest gadget that measures heart rate variability 

Wearable rings that track sleep and determine how much someone can push themselves in training when they wake

Monitors to indicate when someone is too stressed needs to take a breath

Science is certainly making things interesting in the world of performance

Like a rainbow coloured milkshake

But as much fun as it all can be 

There’s something I love more

A clear glass of water

Mmm

Simple

Fundamental 

Incredibly valuable

What I’m more curious about than the latest technique or gadget

Is the work that helps the work most

I repeat 

The work… that helps the work… most

When I look at the people who I believe are the best in the game at helping performers

The coaches who actually walk the walk

Nope

Not many bells

Not many whistles

No rainbow coloured milkshakes to be seen

Their work tends to be simpler (not necessarily easier) 

Pen

Paper

Deep thought

The work

You know what I mean

The work

If you told me 

Yo Mike, you can only help one last performer before your times up on this Earth 

I’d sigh

And say…

Go into nature

With your pad and your pen

Sit down

Think of an event or experience you have coming up where you’re required to perform under pressure

It could be an audition

A meeting

A game

A first day on set for that new show 

Maybe an opening night on stage at the Sydney Opera House

Now

Put your timer on for 7 minutes

And begin writing

How would you like to speak to yourself when you wake up on the morning of that event?

Write it 

Seems pretty basic right?

Bit too simple?

Possibly like a glass of water?

Yep

The fundamentals

There is not a single person on this earth who is responsible for the way that you speak to yourself

Other than you

That responsibility lies on your shoulders

And guess what 

You do have a choice in the matter

(As bloody hard as that can feel sometimes)

The best coaches in the game know

How you speak to yourself

Moment to moment

Is going to have one of the biggest influences on your life and work

So my advice

Try it

Just once

Just for 7 minutes

Write as if you were solely responsible for how you guide yourself before stepping into a big performance

Imagine the dream case scenario

Imagine if you just said 

Screw it! I’m going to take care of myself better than ever before

How would you communicate?

Would it be kind? 

Compassionate? 

Fun? 

Playful? 

Focused? 

Clear? 

Honest? 

Supportive? 

Loving?

Guiding?

Nurturing? 

Inspiring?

What if you were guiding your 5 year old self?

What if your 5 year old self was guiding you?

Write your inner monologue 

Your Self Talk

The dialogue you have with yourself 

This is one of those exercises that might feel icky for a few seconds or sentences

Just dive in

I’m interested in what you experience

And if what comes out of you is something you’d like to maybe experience more of?

Curious

Self Talk

Practice how you speak to yourself under pressure

Might just be the most delicious glass of water you’ll ever drink

Hope this helps

X 

Trust in Logic

There is a scene in Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins

Batman is training with his sensei on a frozen lake high up in the mountains

His sensei taunts him

Even brings up Batman’s father

Uh oh

Batman’s fear transforms into uncontrollable anger

He is blinded by his emotions

Batman lunges

And for a moment 

It looks like Batman has the upper hand

But 

Just when he thinks he’s been successful

His sensei makes him aware that he has sacrificed sure footing for the lure of success 

The sensei simply taps the ice beneath Batman’s feet

And Batman plunges into the freezing lake below

Beautiful 

We cut to the next scene

Batman is sitting beside a fire

Furiously rubbing his arms

He is freezing

His sensei looks at him and calmly says

Rub your chest, your arms will take care of themselves

I repeat

Rub your chest… your arms will take care of themselves 

I have thought about this line an enormous amount in the past 12 months 

Why?

Well

In almost every acting class I have ever been in

Someone in the class

Sacrifices sure footing for the lure of success

By that, I mean

An actor will start pushing for an emotional result

It’s something all actors have seen 

And damn sure have experienced 

When there is a strong expectation of a particular result 

(In other words - A strong should)

I should cry

I should shout

I shout laugh

The instinct can be to cling on to it for dear life when we realise we might not meet that expectation 

What is important to note here is that…

Pushing for an emotion is a lose lose situation

The fighting to control means we can bully our bodies or other actors into fitting a particular mould 

Resulting in tension

Squeezing every facial muscle to try get that one tear to roll down the cheek 

And

The audience recoils as their mirror neurones ignite and they feel the dreaded tension in their own bodies

There is no win 

So 

What can we do?

What can we focus on that will the allow the result to take care of itself 

Logic 

Trust in logic

Let emotions take care of themselves

You are far better off letting go of all emotional expectations and just focussing on logic

Then pushing for what you think the right version of the scene is.

Like in any game

If we want to play well

At some point we have to accept chaos 

We have to trust ourselves that we have enough structure to fly 

And then simply fall.

Trust in ones ability to handle chaos 

Is a muscle 

It can be built

Give it time

Give it kindness

It will be worth it

So

When in doubt

Rub your chest, your arms will take care of themselves 

I mean…

Trust in logic, your emotions will take care of themselves 

Hope this helps

X 

Sucker for Detail

Last year

I (once again) went through a lovely cycle of “I have no idea what I’m doing”

During my reflections on where I felt stuck

Some curiosities emerged

And these curiosities eventually transformed into questions

I then thought very carefully about who I would love to ask these questions

Two actor’s came to mind

Two phenomenal Australian actors

The kind of actors most of the general public wouldn’t exactly remember the first name of

But the kind of actors who are revered within the industry 

The kind of actors other actors hang about on set to watch because they know special work is about to happen

The kind of actors producers fight to the death for to convince the money people to invest in

Why?

I literally had a producer tell me

“They are kind, respectful and rock up on time”

“They are technically brilliant. Not only that, they make other actors around them better - they genuinely lift the calibre of everyone’s work on set”

“They are no fuss - they don’t bring their baggage to set” 

“So that’s why we try to convince the money people to say yes - the way we see it, it’s an investment in the production”

Mmm

That sounds yummy

“I want to be like that when I grow up”

I said to myself

So, off I went 

To hunt these two actors down

Eventually 

I found them

Sitting in a cave on a far away misty mountain top

Nah, I found them both on set

Which, of course, is where they are most of the time

In fact, one of them I’m lucky enough to be filming with at the moment

Which has been great, because not only do I get to hear great advice

But I also get to see the physical manifestations of their ideas - ie, their actions 

How they walk the walk 

So

What did I learn from these two craftsmen?

Well

Funnily enough

Both conversations led to the same point

They are both suckers for detail

“Almost every problem I have witnessed on set, I believe it boils down to an actor being too general”

“Vice versa, almost every solution I can see on set, I believe it boils down to an actor being more detailed in their work”

This was great to hear

But how did this look in reality?

Well

Last week I was filming

All day

And by the end of the day

We were doing a wide shot

Me and this actor were far in the distance

Just before the 7th and final take of the day 

One of these actors came rushing up to me and said 

Great Actor: “Mike, it doesn’t quite make sense that I’m point that extra in that direction does it? If the hospital is this way then why don’t I send them in this direction instead?”

Me (thinking about dinner): “Umm, yeah, that does make more sense”

And I can tell you, this actor is like this all day, every day

He doesn’t stop

He doesn’t stop following his curiosity 

Each little moment

Each little take

Add in some compound interest

And booyaa

You have a bloody generous creative

So 

Be a sucker for detail 

Or 

More specifically 

Keep following your curiosity - It will allow the details to flow

Which brings a wonderful quote come to mind 

“Follow the golden thread of what is meaningful and interesting

It will lead you out of the maze”

Hope this helps

X 

Stop Trying to be Interesting

Please

Stop trying to be interesting

Let me explain :)

This question has come up a bit recently

How can I be interesting?

How can I make interesting choices?

How can I stand out from the others?

How can I be a rebel and make dangerous choices?

First things first

Rebels are just as boring as sheep 

Why?

They are predictable

A sheep does what the group does

A rebel does the opposite 

Predictable 

And predictable is the opposite of alive

Therefore

Boring

Next

Let’s look at an actor who is wanting to make “interesting choices”

Who is wanting to “stand out from the crowd”

Well

Right from the get go

The actor has given their power away

Why?

Well, who determines if the choice is interesting or not?

Exactly

It’s something external to ourselves

I might think I have made the most interesting, unique, dangerous choice in the history of acting

But the kid in the front row eating his bag of crisps might stare back at me and yawn out of tremendous boredom (true story)

Therefore

The kid is the one who determines if my choice is actually interesting or not

This is outside of my control

And the chances are then

I’m up for an exhausting journey 

I’ll go to sleep happy if the kid stands up on their chair and cheers for me because they’re enthralled by my choices 

But the flip side is that I’ll go to sleep disappointed if he takes another crunchingly-loud mouthful of crips because the bag is more interesting than my work.

Big ups and downs

Not very sustainable 

So

To be clear

Interesting choices are a result which is out of our control

Let’s let go of the results here and go back to process

Let’s look at the experts 

What is unanimously the most dangerous, interesting, unique thing an actor can do?

Be. Present.

An actor who is present is alive

Now, THAT is a goal worth working towards

However

One can not instantaneously become present just by thinking “C’mon Michael, be present dammit!”

Presence itself is a bi-product, a result 

So

The question then becomes…

What is a process that results in presence?

What can I actually DO in this moment, right now

In order to help me move into a place of presence?

Breathe

Breath = presence 

If I can go back to my breath

I can become present

And being present means I can genuinely react to my given circumstance 

DAYEM

Now, I love that actors go out of their way to have a “character’s secret” or copy Brando and make their "character’s animal" an English bulldog that’s been shot in the throat for dramatic effect

But when it comes to skills I truly believe are worth investing in

That will actually result in the improvement and progression of their craft

I still have not come across something more valuable than breath

So please

The next time an acting teacher says to you 

“Make interesting choices”

(which I believe is equivalent to saying “hey just be amazing but I don’t actually know how to help you do that”)

Go back to process

Breathe

Your breath will help you move into a state of presence

Your presence will help you listen, react, speak truthfully and in general, come to life!

And you being alive… you living in front of the lens and reacting truthfully…

Mmm

That’ll do pig 

That’ll do

So

Stop trying to be interesting

Instead

Breathe 

And let the results take care of themselves 

Hope this helps

X 

There is No Hope

Hey Michael

I hope you’re keeping well and enjoying the conclusion to 2022!

I’m reaching out today for some guidance post graduation. I’m finding that I need to find some clarity moving forward.

Any wisdom you can embark upon me would be greatly appreciated.

…

Hey Mate

Sure thing

There is no hope

I repeat

There is no hope.

None. Zilch. Nada

Let me explain

Firstly

A monumentally huge congrats for graduating from drama school

3 years at one of those top institutes is a bloody big ask

A once in a lifetime journey

So I really hope you take the time to reflect, acknowledge and celebrate the energy invested

Put your feet up on the couch with that Icy-Pole

You earned it

WAHOO

So

Now what?

I assume the agent game has begun

Organising meetings

Trying to find an energising match in terms of values & hopefully someone that can get you opportunities so you can give your craft

And then?

Ahhh

Yes

The waiting game has begun!

Waiting for that email to come through

Waiting for the phone to ring

Waiting to hear back from that self tape

Waiting to walk into the casting room

Waiting for feedback that may or may not come

Waiting for your “you got the job, kid” moment

That little morsel of hope delivered in a bite sized bit of communication

Well…

I’m sorry to say

But sadly it’s true

It’s not coming

The audition is not going to make things okay

The self tape is not going to solve everything

The job is not going to make everything in life better

I have to be very honest in this moment

Last week

I got a phone call saying I was being offered a Disney+ series without having to audition

A call that came completely out of the blue

How did I react?

Well

I stood in a Coles parking lot in some tiny coastal town

With my pregnant fiancé (yes, I’m becoming a dad in 2023)

And we both cried in each others arms

In that moment

I felt like there was hope

Like everything was going to be okay

And I can tell you

That feeling has not changed since I graduated from NIDA 12 years ago

Almost every job that has come through that I have really wanted (for whatever reason specific to that time)

Has come with a sense of both joy & relief

But if I take some time to zoom out

I can see that it’s very short lived

No job has made my life okay

No job has suddenly changed everything for me

My life has not become better because I got acting work

But…

I sure as hell can tell you

That I have gotten acting work because I made my life better

Taking care of the essentials

Health

Wealth

Relationships

Family

Environments

Craft

Contribution

The importance & value of daily habits far outweigh the sporadic extremes

But I understand the “When I, Then I” trap

“When I get that big job just around the corner… then everything will be okay”

Yep

I still fall in it

Of course I do

I’m a human

I have fears

I have goals

And sometimes they all get mashed up into a beautiful complex mess

And that’s okay

But

Now what?

If I’m not going to invest my time and energy in hoping a job is just around the corner that will make everything okay

What do I do?

Where is actual hope?

How does one build hope?

How does one take action and responsibility and build an environment which allows hope to come to them rather than desperately chasing after it?

Mmm

Fall in love with process

Fall in love with practice

Fall in love with the boring bits

What do I mean by “fall in love”

I mean build something which energises you

Build processes which feel addictive

Processes which excite you

Make it fun, playful ,enjoyable, messy

The idea that the work must be painful or hard in order for you to do well

Yep - romantic as hell

Believe me, I have been there

But what I realised

Was that if I suffered for my art, eventually it was my art that suffered

(I sacrificed both my shoulders to that ideology)

I realised it wasn’t actually hard to stand in the middle of a room screaming, crying and behaving in extreme ways

What’s hard is showing up, day after day, doing the slow, kind, unromantic boring bits

THAT’s hard

As for the work itself…

Permission to build it in a sustainable way

Kindness and all

So to you, my friend

Who is sitting on your coach eating your celebratory Ice-Pole

I say the same thing I say at the end of every screen class

“I hope you found joy in the effort”

I mean that

I really mean that

I hope you go out into the world and find joy in the effort

If you can do that…

I reckon you’ll be more than okay :)

Hope this helps

X

The Starving Artist

“A starving artist is someone who’s art means a lot to them, but no-one else”

Mmm

Curious

It’s been a year since I heard that quote

And yet it still nudges me in the same uncomfortable way as it did back then

I think there is a little light inside me that flickers on when I hear it

A knowing deep down that understands this idea maybe more than my mind does

What is it telling me?

Well

Straight up

I have been saying no for two years 

“No” 

When I returned from making a movie in 2020

I hadn’t been home for 3 days before I was offered a lead role in the next

It felt strange

I’ve never really been an actor whose moved from job to job non-stop for more than about a year

So getting work back to back has always sat a bit strange with me

In this particular case

I really felt like I should say yes

A lead role offered to me without even auditioning?

Heck, yeah!

Work, money, new colleagues, etc 

It was an opportunity

And actor’s should say yes to all opportunities, right?

Mmm 

I’m not sure things are that black and white

Something was off

The conversations I was having with the director

The last minute changes to the script 

The script itself 

It wasn’t sitting well

I had 2 weeks to make a decision 

So the question back then became

What decision would I regret NOT doing the most?

To NOT listen to my body?

To NOT take the job and miss out on the money & opportunity to act?

I chose my body

I chose to walk away

I chose to say “no, thank you”

And that’s what worked for me then

I was really proud of that decision 

It felt honest, open and in line with me

But that was back then

And something that I think might have leaked out of that experience

Was a momentum of “no’s”

“No” became almost my default response 

“Waiting for that special one”, I would tell myself

“Waiting for that one that lights my body on fire” 

Until one day

When I was wandering around in a pet shop (still one of my favourite things to do)

I noticed a big beautiful tank that covered the whole wall

With some of my favourite African fish swimming around in it

They were stunning

But one side of the tank was almost empty

I shuffled over to the empty side and noticed something

There was almost no life there whatsoever 

The rocks were bare

No plants grew

And when I looked at the surface of the water

It was dirty, stagnant and almost mouldy

It seemed the water filter wasn’t reaching over to that side of the tank

So there was no movement in the water

No movement

No life

Mmm

No movement… no life

“A starving artist is someone who’s art means a lot to them, but no-one else”

What is this telling me?

I can sit still in my lounge and wait for the “right one” all I want

But at some point

If I want life

Then maybe I need to go first

Maybe it’s me who needs to make the first move

Curious

Where can you afford to move in order to contribute more of your art to the tribe?

Hope this helps

X 

An Actor’s Life For Me

Stick with me on this one :)

“An actor’s life for me”

That lovely little song in Disney’s Pinocchio 

The story of a puppet becoming a real boy 

A real boy? 

An autonomous Individual 

No longer a puppet to certain ideologies, believe systems, institutions etc

To think for yourself, have a healthy criticism of authority and to no longer be bound to the strings you were born into

Beautiful

After Geppetto “wishes upon a star” (aligns himself to a clear and honest goal & surrenders to the divine)

The Blue Fairy (representing fate, divinity, Mother Nature) descends 

Pinocchio is granted a soul, a consciousness and the ability to begin thinking for himself

Yet, Pinocchio is still a puppet 

He's still made of wood

Not bones, flesh and blood 

The Blue Fairy outlines a condition before Pinocchio becomes a real boy

“Prove yourself brave, truthful and unselfish and someday you will be a real boy.”

Brave. 

Truthful. 

Unselfish.

Mmm

Night blossoms into day

And Pinocchio knows what he must do

Go to school

Apply himself

Contribute wonderful things to society

But

On the way to his first day of school 

Pinocchio is enticed by a fox 

This is where our song comes into play

The fox, Honest John (yeah, right) whispers deceitful things into Pinocchios ear

He tempts Pinocchio with the lure of fame

Despite Jiminy Cricket (representing Pinocchios conscience) pleading for Pinocchio to turn around and go back to school 

Pinocchio follows Honest John along with the lure of a catchy song:

Hi-diddle-dee-dee

An actor's life for me

A high silk hat and a silver cane

A watch of gold with a diamond chain

Hi-diddle-dee-day

An actor's life is gay

It's great to be a celebrity

An actor's life for me

Hi-diddle-dee-dum

An actor's life is fun

An actor's life for me

Hi-diddle-dee-dee

An actor's life for me

A wax moustache and a beaver coat

A pony cart and a billy goat

Hi-diddle-dee-dum

An actor's life is fun

You wear your hair in a pompadour

You ride around in a coach and four

You stop and buy out a candy store

An actor's life for me

Hi-diddle-dee-dee

An actor's life for me

A high silk hat and a silver cane

A watch of gold and a diamond chain

Hi-diddle-dee-day

An actor's life is gay

It's great to be a celebrity

An actor's life for me

An actor’s life?

Huh?

Why is the life of an actor being used to steer Pinocchio away from a good and honest path?

Well

Time for some brutal honesty

Disney is using an actor’s life

To represent taking short cuts in this world

And the repercussions that come from chasing rewards over fulfilling work

Don’t work hard, just become an actor!

You will be rewarded, receive love & validation, for doing very little

Reward for little effort?

Mmm

That actually does sound yummy 

Roughly speaking… some people see the instant success of celebrity & reality television and assume that the hard work and discipline involved in being a true artist is not a necessary factor

I assume, to some degree, we all know this

So what’s my point?

This song, to me, acts as a cautionary reminder

Bring it back to bliss

Remind yourself of the joy, love, play and freedom that came with getting involved with acting in the first place

Let go of the short cuts, hacks and pleasurable distractions

And… on top of this

Remind yourself of the responsibility to be Brave, Honest & Generous 

I get it... Reward for little effort does sound delicious

But to me

What sounds even better than that

Is putting my head on the pillow

Feeling grateful and proud that I tried

Tried to align myself with a goal I believed to be clear and honest for me

And then convert that desire into brave, honest and generous behaviour

God…

I have some work to do :)

Hope this helps

X 

Four Pillars

What is actually necessary to be great at in order to contribute more as a modern day screen actor?

One: Surrender 

You are the most valuable currency you have in this industry 

NOT who you think you should be

We want you, the real you, warts and all

The work is moving away from those who can “act well”

And moving toward those who are technically able to give themselves permission to be where they actually are

So, practice giving up

Practice giving yourself permission to be where you actually are

It ain’t good, bad, right or wrong

Two: Serve

If the team is spending $300k over the next 3 hours to get this one scene completed

It will be bloody helpful if you have a strong understanding of why 

Cut to the chase

What is the point of this scene?

What is the function of your character in this scene / story?

If you are clear about why the team is going to all the effort to film this next scene

Then you will be clear about where to invest your time and energy 

And thus, give where and when required

Rather then investing precious resources into unnecessary places

Producers and directors love generous actors

So be more generous 

Be clear about what’s worth caring about

And serve

Three: Connect

Homo sapiens, as a single entity, are weak and feeble creatures

They rose up the food chain because of one crucial factor

Connection

Our ability to connect, allowed us to work together

Increasing our ability to provide, protect & procreate 

It is deeply embedded in our DNA

But as actors

Often times we are being asked to contribute a strong relationship in a matter of seconds

I remember rocking up for my first day on Home & Away and having to shoot the romance scene first thing

For the story to work, Ruby & Steve had to give in to their weeks-long desire 

I literally said “hello” to the actress with an awkward laugh

And someone yelled “action”…

Don’t ask me how the scene went

So the important question becomes:

How does one pretend to have a meaningful relationship when we have only met our fellow actor for 30 seconds?

Find your way

What works for you?

What helps you create a “real” relationship in the least amount of time possible?

Try different acting techniques 

Experiment 

Find something that works (and is sustainable!)

And Connect 

Four: Focus 

Everyone on set has a job

They expect you to do yours

At some point on set or in the casting room

There will be signals to indicate a take is about to happen

Do what you need to do

To get where you need to get

So you can give what you need to give

Focus on the one thing that is going to help carry you best into the conversation that’s about to happen

Again

Experiment  

Try different acting schools of thought

It might be something which provides you with some chaos

Or you might need a little order

Find what works best for you 

But when all the smiles, laughter and talking disappear 

And there is silence in the room

And everyone is holding their breath and looking at you because they’re waiting for you to do your job…

Do. Your. Job

Breathe

Focus 

Then jump in baby :) 

Hope this helps

X 

Fake It Baby

I was stalking an actor one day

As you do

Doing a deep dive into their early career, work, etc

Chasing interviews where they discuss their craft in depth

A quote popped up

I have sat with these words for a few years now

Mulling them over

When I first read them

They really jared with me 

But they presented an idea which has continued to raise it’s head

The following is Michael Douglas discussing what he believes to be the greatest myth around screen acting

“When I was younger

Someone told me

If I wasn’t 100% truthful in front of the lens

The camera would pick it up.

Yeah… That really fucked me up for a while”

I love this quote

Why?

Let’s get curious

Like many actors

I spent a lot of time building a negative association with the idea of fakeness

Everything that was sold to me from day one 

Was around the idea of always being real, truthful, honest etc etc

That being fake was a “bad thing”

But let’s look at the real world

Firstly

Humans are designed to survive 

We build public personas to help us get through our lives

Because sometimes

Giving ourselves permission to feel what we are actually feeling

To be 100% honest, real, authentic etc 

Can feel bloody vulnerable, scary or even dangerous

And rightly so

For the vast majority of our Homo Sapien existence 

Rejection from the group resulted in a higher chance of death

(Side note: This is why it’s completely normal to really care what others think. Hundreds of thousands of years of survival doing its job!)

Thus

Faking it goes hand in hand with living and being a human 

Secondly 

Hang in with me here

Let’s say I have a day on set for a show

I have one scene

The scene lasts two minutes

It’s a simple conversation between two people

Let’s say there are two takes on the wide shot

Two takes on my mid, two on theirs 

Two takes on my closeup, and two on theirs

Approximately 10 takes for this 2 minute scene

Now

Let’s sayyyyyyy

Wide Take 1 - I give Fake work between 0:46 - 0:54 & 1:25 - 1:30

Wide Take 2 - I give Fake work between 0:13 - 0:26 

My Mid Take 1 - I give Fake work between 0:00 - 0:05, 0:36-0:38, 1:46 - 1:52

My Mid Take 2 - I give Fake work between 0:52 - 0:56

My Close Up Take 1 - I give Fake work between 1:40 - 1:46

My Close Up Take 2 - I give Fake work between 0:22 - 0:35

Their Mid Take 1 - I give Fake work between 0:45 - 1:23 & 1:45 - 1:47

Etc etc 

See what’s happening? 

Yup

We start to see it from the editors point of view

Over time

We will give enough options

To enable the editor to build something

And the further we get in our careers

The more our skillset grows and we become more consistent

And the gaps of fake work in between the real stuff 

Get smaller

But even then

A fake look in a particular direction

With some sweet editing 

And Bob's your uncle!

Not feeling confident but the character is supposed to be?

Forget about it

The lens is on your face right now

And confidence is reavealed the further we move away from the centre of the body

The camera isn't capturing your feet or hands

So get on with it :)

Trust the editor

Remember

Screen is an editor’s medium 

This is where they step in and build magic 

And what they build is vastly out of my control

I can’t tell you how many moments I stressed over after stepping off set 

Losing sleep because 

“I wasn’t completely in it in that moment!!!!”

Only to watch the scene years later and realise that if I had slowed down, zoomed out and looked at what the scene was actually about

And what the function of my character in the story actually was

I wouldn’t have been surprised to see that while I was saying that particular line 

The editor was zooming deeply into the other actor's eyes 

And playing sad music to illustrate the character’s realisation that they’re going def 

What!? 

You mean it’s not all about me!?

Remember 

We are all on the same team

Everyone is wanting to build a great story 

I remember stepping off set on my last day on The Nightingale

Jennifer Kent said to me

“I take bloody good care of my actor’s in the editing room”

I remember Mel Gibson at the wrap party for Hacksaw Ridge saying to everyone 

“I have no idea what we’ve just made, but it’s got a bloody good heart, so I know we will be able to build something wonderful in the edit”

Ugh

The screen family

Warms my heart 

What’s my point?

Ease off beating yourself up about faking it

It’s okay to fake it baby

Now

Let’s get practical

What can we actually do about this moving forward?

Let’s say we are half way through a take

And we notice

“Oh, I’m not being 100% real right now!”

First things first

We noticed it

Brilliant!

Awareness equals choice

Now we get to choose what to do next

Here’s two possible options

One

Start beating the heck out of yourself

“I’m being fake. That is bad. I’m a bad actor. I suck. Why can’t I be better and get it right?”

Two

Notice it

Take a breath

Keep going with the scene

Mmm

Hope this helps

X 

Allocating Your Ducks

Time, energy, effort, money, focus

Actors only have so many f*cks to give

So where does one allocate these precious resources?

Some possibilities:

Social media / marketing

Class / practice

Reading 

Researching

Networking 

Actor-Agent Relationship

Creating work 

Writing

Self Taping 

Auditioning

Job preparation

Working professionally

Etc etc

I spent years trying to give everything equal attention

That resulted in major burnout

The way I was doing things, It was simply unsustainable

And on top of that

I never really progressed

(Progression being a big influencer of fulfilment)

Which reminds of the saying

“Amateurs try do lots. Pros do less, and they do it better”

So, how can we do less, and at the same time, do it better?

The Pareto Principle states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes

So the question then becomes

Which 20% do I want to invest the majority of my resources toward?

In other words

Which 20% will give me 80% of the results?

Mmm curious

Out of all the areas of an acting career I could allocate my f*cks

If, gun to my head, I could only pick two?

Two clear, important areas to allocate the majority of my time, energy, effort, money, focus…

One - Creating an addictively fun self-tape process (where joy comes from the effort itself)

& Two - Showing up to class / practice once per week with great external accountability, no matter what. 

Forget motivation. Just book in the time, place & people. 

Everything else an actor does

Comes as a result of one thing

Contributing great work in between “action” and “cut”

Make progress in that one area

And everything else will flow

Hope this helps

X 

Kaizen

A Japanese word meaning “good change”

A culture of 1% improvement every day

Why only one percent? 

Because slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be

How can you incorporate a culture of kaizen into your career as an artist?

Here are 7 steps

One - Find great external accountability 

Two - Discover your most important problem 

Thee - Discover your best possible solution 

Four - Test your solution

Five - Measure your results

Six - Debrief 

Seven - Start again 

The power lies in the debrief 

Why?

Because anyone can work hard

Anyone can allocate time to practice

Anyone can randomly get a great job and work for a year or two

But very, very few

Will sit down

Think deeply

And make slow, kind, intelligent, adaptive progress

Day after day

Week after week

Year after year 

Now... 

I’m going to go eat some cake

Hope this helps

X 

Beautiful Judgement

I remember a time

When I was midway through my 3 years of training at drama school

My best friend called me

He was expressing his excitement at continuing his craft progression

“I want to try all the drama schools!

All the teachers!

All the classes!

All the techniques!”

I remember thinking on the other end of the line…

Huh?

Why the hell would I finish 3 years at drama school and want to go learn more?

If I’ve finished drama school,

Surely I’ve learnt all I need to

Duh…

Cut to a few years later

It was my first year out of drama school

I had been fortunate with getting a few guest roles on some Aussie soaps

As well as playing Romeo for Bell Shakespeare

And I thought

Mmm

Things are working out pretty good

Except for the amount of free time I had

That was a big learning curve

So I thought I’de start my own mini research lab in my study (garage)

I thought I would go through all the Inside The Actor’s Studio interviews

See what I could steal from great artists

The OG’s of the biz

DeNiro, Newman, Streep, etc etc

Then one day

To my absolute horror

An interview was released with Bradley Cooper

I was mortified

How dare they

Why would they interview an actor from some blockbuster

Who hasn’t spent decades in the industry yet

And ruin the shows reputation?

I deliberately ignored the interview

Weeks went by

And it became a Princess and the Pea kind of thing

A niggling deep down

Every time I scrolled passed it

Ugh

GO AWAY

Until finally

I told myself I would click on it

Give it 5 minutes

Just to reassure myself what a mistake it was to interview some soap actor on such a prestigious platform

Judgement judgment judgement

I clicked

I watched

And when it was finished

I sat in silence staring at the wall

I felt like something had cracked inside me

I didn’t feel angry

Or strained

Or anxious

I felt like my breath was full

My feet were on the ground

My eyes felt easy, clear

Why?

Because…

I saw someone who was insanely caring of their craft

And deeply connected to the idea of contributing great work

To become the most generous actor he could be

But the line that stuck with me the most

Was in discussing the classes with a teacher named Elizabeth Kemp

“It was the first time in my life I learned to relax”

I was shook

Because I knew that despite my training

And my experience

I still had not learned how to be at home on a professional set yet.

To see an actor who was in their first decade out of drama school

Who was so intent on working with great coaches

To try and improve his craft

So he could give more generous work on set…

I don’t know

It pulled a thread in a judgment jumper

And things unravelled for me

The fixed response I had to my friends’ phone call years before

Shrunk away

What was left?

An openness

A curiosity

A little voice inside that said

Go

Learn

Grow

Scare myself

That moment led to me eventually working with Elizabeth Kemp in her Dreamwork Workshops

Which broke my paradigm around what I thought acting was

Which led to my appetite for further craft exploration becoming insatiable

Which led to me getting more work

Which led to more exploration

Which led to more work

Until finally

I sent Elizabeth the email I had always wanted to send

“Dearest Elizabeth

I just got a great role on a film I really believe in

I would love to work together on this one if you have the availability?”

I still treasure my memories of working with Elizabeth Kemp on The Nightingale

Especially because a month after we finished filming

Elizabeth passed away

The whole time we had been working together on the film…

She was dying from cancer.

I had no idea that leaning into my judgement

Would expand my curiosity

Which would lead to meeting and working with someone who would change my life

What’s more

Is that this cycle

Has been repeated so. many. times.

I use to scoff at athletes having mindset coaches

Then I started reading about the Captain of the All Blacks rugby team

Which led to me working with Angela Ford

Which changed my life.

I use to bag out Shakespeare

Then I stepped into a class with Damien Rain who became my teacher and mentor for 4 years

Which led to me eventually being directed by him in Henry V at the Sydney Opera House a decade later

Which changed my life.

Judgements judgments judgments

Beautiful judgements

These little gems

Protecting me from something wonderful just on the other side

My point?

Get curious around your judgment

Lean into it

Who the hell knows where you’ll end up

Hope this helps

X

Focus

I spent many years watching lead actors on set

DiCaprio, Garfield, Green, Mulligan, Edgerton, Hemsworth, Herriman, Claflin, McGuire, Vaughn, etc etc

One of the hundreds of questions I would fixate on when watching them was

How the hell are they able to focus so intensely for so long?

Take after take

Scene after scene

Day after day

For weeks

Or even months in a row?

It took me a little while to realise

They don’t 

No-one does

Because no-one can

One of my favourite test cricketers summed it up perfectly

I don’t have to focus for hours at a time

I simply wouldn’t be able to sustain that

What I’ve learned is

I only have to focus for 7-10 seconds at a time

Then I let go and rest

I love this

Intelligent adaptive progress

Let’s make this relevant to the craft of screen acting

Approximately 10-30 seconds before each take on set

Key professionals will signal they are ready to go

Lighting

Camera

Sound

Director

Will all have things they say to indicate a take is about to happen

That’s the actor’s cue

Time to focus

Focus on what?

One, clear, important thing

Whatever helps you enter the take flying with presence, playfulness, openness

Whatever helps you give your best work, when it counts most

And for anyone who is scared about taking a few seconds to focus before their take because it might not look cool?

Well

Professionals give themselves permission to do that they need to do

In order to provide the best work they can for the team

Everyone else on set is doing their job

They expect you to do yours

Own your work

Give yourself 0-30 seconds to take your time and focus

Lead roles are reserved for more generous actors

So focus

And be more generous :)

Hope this helps

X 

Better Question

Why can’t I get acting work?

Why won’t they cast me?

Why don’t they want me?

Let’s ask a better question

How do I build myself into the most desirable actor possible?

Mmm

Curious 

What do I think makes a desirable actor?

Someone who…

Gives generous, meaningful work 

Takes care of the story 

Puts the work before their ego

Is competent 

Knows their lines

Has done their prep

Practices their craft

Continues to learn and grow

Actually enjoys what they do

Plays!

Laughs!

Is willing to look like a fool

Is kind

Is supportive

Is grateful 

Is honest, even when uncomfortable 

Says “hello” with love

Treats others with compassion and respect

Takes care of their timezone 

Slows down in order to go further 

Turns it on when they need to

Turns it off when they need to

Breathes and smiles under pressure

Is able to find comfort in the chaos

Allows space for silence

Works to maintain healthy relationships 

Is able to find balance

Obeys nature

Follows their curiosity 

Listens to their body 

Let’s their body lead

Takes responsibility

Is willing to make short term sacrifices for long term gains

Is willing to say “yes”

Is willing to say “no”

Is willing to say “maybe”

Is kind to themselves 

Accepts they made a mistake and moves forward

Owns what they really want

Is willing to have the difficult conversations 

Bends rather than breaks

Rocks up on time

And says “thank you” with love

Build this…

Build this and the work will come

Hope this helps

X 

Surrender

You are the most valuable currency you have in this industry 

Not who you think you should be

Therefore

Surrender

What do I mean by surrender?

Accept where you actually are

And give up on where you think or feel you should be

Give yourself permission to be here now

It’s not good, bad, right or wrong 

It’s simply where you are

And that’s okay

Actually

It’s more than okay 

It’s the most generous thing you can give.

In many artistic fields

The work is moving away from people who can “perform good”

To human beings who are able to surrender 

Curious

Hope this helps

X

Drop the Guard

Once upon a time

I auditioned for a BBC series

At the time, I had longish hair

Six months later…

I got cast and had 6 days to make it to New Zealand with a polished Scottish accent

I rocked up with a recently shaved head.

This is around the time I discovered that my hairline was “maturing”

And shaving my head made that blatantly obvious

I felt really scared of how I would look on screen

But also

When I read the book for the show

So much was written about the character's “long flowing locks of dark black hair”

I just…

Felt a bit stupid

I got on the phone with a wonderful acting coach

Who deals with this kind of stuff all the time - artists dealing with decisions whilst managing the powers above them.

He said

“Mike, regardless of what’s going to happen with all the external stuff - the accent, the costumes, the hair - let’s just focus on giving your character a great heart…

Make that real and the audience won’t care how you look”

This really helped me in that moment

It gave me a clear and meaningful place to steer my focus

I then went to my design meeting...

“Hey Mike

Let’s try some moustaches on you”

My heart dropped as I saw the tray of hairy monstrosities

Moustaches!?

I’m filming in 3 days and they want me to have a massive Quintin Tarantino Moustache!?

Ugh

I took a big breath

“Hey, Sarah”

“Yes, hun?”

She gently put her hands on my shoulders

knowing something was up

“I’m just feeling a bit scared right now…

My hairline, this moustache…

I just… kind of feel… ugly

And not really inline with the character at all

And I’m just nervous about looking silly”

She put down the tray of large moustaches and sat in the chair next to me...

“Mike, let’s have chat”

So we did

We had an honest conversation

We breathed lot’s and were patient in hearing the others points of view

We both had jobs

And we both wanted to do our jobs well

So

We moved forward together

We covered my hairline with some magic stuff

We chose a moustache we both liked

And I got to pick my favourite hat which I got to wear in ALL the outdoor scenes :)

What’s my point?

Well

Where did things turn around?

In the moment I dropped my guard

The moment I spoke up and voiced my fears to the person standing in front of me

I cannot tell you the amount of stories I have which went in the opposite direction to this

Because of one simple reason

I kept trying to protect myself

As opposed to dropping my guard and speaking my truth

I use to think strength was about me shutting up in these moments

Grinding through

Handling it internally

Now?

I think, sometimes, the bravest thing I can do

Is drop my shoulders

Take a breath

Look at the person in front of me in the eyes

And say

“Hey, I’m struggling a bit”

Sending hugs

X

Who’s Advice to Listen to?

I use to train Jiu Jitsu with someone

Let’s call them “Mr. Helper”

Mr. Helper is a big sweetie

But every time we trained together

I felt a bit icky

There was a lack of harmony

My body felt heavy

Forceful

And there was a general sense of frustration

Why?

Well

What I began to notice

Was that Mr. Helper

Would tell me what to do

A lot

Advice advice advice

Now

Advice can be lovely

But there was something interesting going on

It wasn’t necessarily the advice that was being given

It was more so the factors around the advice

Here were some things I noticed

He would give me advice before I had even tried the movement for myself

He would give advice, and then give advice again, without letting me take the initial advice and try to apply it for myself

He would give me advice which I noticed was quite sloppy and unclear

And lastly

When we actually did rounds of sparring

I would tap him out

Multiple times

Quite easily

(Side note - I’m not the greatest at jiu jitsu, so this is saying a bit)

My point is… the advice he was continually giving me, he wasn’t actually able to apply himself

This was a big moment for me

I noticed it

Took a breath

And smiled

What a wonderful human being

Mr. Helper

Always trying to help!

Bloody kind and considerate

Clearly, he had some wonderful intentions

Just didn’t necessarily find the best way to go about it

But it brings up the question…

And this is, I believe, a bloody important question

Who’s advice do I listen to?

How do I know when to take someone’s direction?

In my 19 years of acting

I’ve heard so much conflicting advice in our industry

Over and over again

“Never have a plan B”

Vs

“Oh, you always have a plan B”

“Say yes to everything”

Vs

“Oh, no, you have to learn to say no”

Ugh

Exhausting

So…

Here is my advice

On taking advice

Lol

Okay

When someone gives me advice

I want to do one thing

Look at them…

I mean really look at them

Zoom out and see the person standing in front of me

Let me explain

Firstly

Are they listening to me?

Two ears

One mouth

If they are listening to me more than talking & telling me what to do

That’s a possible green light

Do I feel heard?

Do I feel understood?

Or

Is this ratio out of sync?

Do I feel like they are trying to fix me,

Before knowing me or my context?

Secondly

Craft

Do I respect their craftsmanship?

What do I mean by craftsmanship?

Well

What is their work like?

Do they have a skillset with some key ingredients

Namely

Growth Mindset - Are they curious? Or are they operating from a fixed place (where things are good, bad, right, or wrong)?

Responsibility - Do they take responsibility for the things they can control? And let go of the things they can’t?

Obey Nature - Do they listen to their body? Trust their instincts? Let their body lead? Are they willing to go slow?

Sacrifice - Are they generous? Do they give a piece of themselves through their craft?

Compassion - Do they believe in themselves enough to be able to be trust themselves, to be kind to themselves when the pressure is on?

So

Craftsmanship

Are they good at contributing something to this earth through their skillset?

I have taken more advice from blacksmiths, Jiu Jitsu fighters, swimmers and farmers

Than I have from acting teachers

Because I see a level of respect and care for their craft

Because I see how much they put into giving something back to society through their work

This is another possible green light

Thirdly

Results

Do they actually get results?

Meaning

Do they convert their words and ideas into action which allows them to work within reality

As opposed to just talking

Having cool things to say

But not being able to actually apply it in society themselves.

Results

Another possible green light

And finally

(& this is probably the most important)

The body check

How does my body feel when I’m around them?

Do I feel de-energised?

A sense of force, pushing, heaviness, closing off

Or

Do I feel energised?

A sense of expansion, light, love, honesty, openess

A feeling of trust?

The body knows (thanks Angie)

The body…. Knows

One last thing…

Did I ask?

Did I actually ask for guidance, advice, direction?

Or…

Is this maybe more about them, then it is about me?

Curious

So

If one or more of these boxes are being being ticked

I might take their little gem

And go see if I can apply it :)

If none of these boxes are being ticked

I might simply take a breath

Say “thank you”

And kindly move on.

Oh

Wait

One more last thing

(Just to flip this all on it’s head)

Sometimes

The best advice

Can come from the least likely of places

Like Mr. Helper

He created a response in me which led me on a path of clarity and direction

These days

I actually love training with him

He tells me what to do

And I get my little reminder to keep being careful about who’s advice I’m listening to

So I guess

In the end

He did actually help :)

Sending hugs

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Actor’s DIY Kit

One

Identify & accept your secret sauce. What is the most generous thing you can give to the audience that no one else can? (Hint: Inner Child)

Two

Define somewhat of a harbour. Be clear & honest about what you really want.

Three

Clarify how you would behave in order to allow what you really want to come to you… then try behave that way.

Four

Create a process for responding to pressure with compassion… practice it often.

Five

Practice in a way which allows for you to actually get better.

Six

Clarify your process for opportunities. How do you give the work you really want to give, when it actually counts?

Seven

Clarify your game plan process. How do you prepare for your next role so you can give your best when you show up to that job?

Eight

Clarify your game day process. How do you make sure you leave set knowing you gave the work you really wanted to give?

Nine

Clarify your process for waiting. How do you live the way you really want to, regardless of whether you get the gig or not?

Ten

Accept that you cannot do it alone / by yourself. Therefor, think about who you are choosing to connect with & how.

Eleven

Try. “Fail Gloriously”.

Twelve

Start again.

Hope this helps

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