There is No Hope

Hey Michael

I hope you’re keeping well and enjoying the conclusion to 2022!

I’m reaching out today for some guidance post graduation. I’m finding that I need to find some clarity moving forward.

Any wisdom you can embark upon me would be greatly appreciated.

…

Hey Mate

Sure thing

There is no hope

I repeat

There is no hope.

None. Zilch. Nada

Let me explain

Firstly

A monumentally huge congrats for graduating from drama school

3 years at one of those top institutes is a bloody big ask

A once in a lifetime journey

So I really hope you take the time to reflect, acknowledge and celebrate the energy invested

Put your feet up on the couch with that Icy-Pole

You earned it

WAHOO

So

Now what?

I assume the agent game has begun

Organising meetings

Trying to find an energising match in terms of values & hopefully someone that can get you opportunities so you can give your craft

And then?

Ahhh

Yes

The waiting game has begun!

Waiting for that email to come through

Waiting for the phone to ring

Waiting to hear back from that self tape

Waiting to walk into the casting room

Waiting for feedback that may or may not come

Waiting for your “you got the job, kid” moment

That little morsel of hope delivered in a bite sized bit of communication

Well…

I’m sorry to say

But sadly it’s true

It’s not coming

The audition is not going to make things okay

The self tape is not going to solve everything

The job is not going to make everything in life better

I have to be very honest in this moment

Last week

I got a phone call saying I was being offered a Disney+ series without having to audition

A call that came completely out of the blue

How did I react?

Well

I stood in a Coles parking lot in some tiny coastal town

With my pregnant fiancé (yes, I’m becoming a dad in 2023)

And we both cried in each others arms

In that moment

I felt like there was hope

Like everything was going to be okay

And I can tell you

That feeling has not changed since I graduated from NIDA 12 years ago

Almost every job that has come through that I have really wanted (for whatever reason specific to that time)

Has come with a sense of both joy & relief

But if I take some time to zoom out

I can see that it’s very short lived

No job has made my life okay

No job has suddenly changed everything for me

My life has not become better because I got acting work

But…

I sure as hell can tell you

That I have gotten acting work because I made my life better

Taking care of the essentials

Health

Wealth

Relationships

Family

Environments

Craft

Contribution

The importance & value of daily habits far outweigh the sporadic extremes

But I understand the “When I, Then I” trap

“When I get that big job just around the corner… then everything will be okay”

Yep

I still fall in it

Of course I do

I’m a human

I have fears

I have goals

And sometimes they all get mashed up into a beautiful complex mess

And that’s okay

But

Now what?

If I’m not going to invest my time and energy in hoping a job is just around the corner that will make everything okay

What do I do?

Where is actual hope?

How does one build hope?

How does one take action and responsibility and build an environment which allows hope to come to them rather than desperately chasing after it?

Mmm

Fall in love with process

Fall in love with practice

Fall in love with the boring bits

What do I mean by “fall in love”

I mean build something which energises you

Build processes which feel addictive

Processes which excite you

Make it fun, playful ,enjoyable, messy

The idea that the work must be painful or hard in order for you to do well

Yep - romantic as hell

Believe me, I have been there

But what I realised

Was that if I suffered for my art, eventually it was my art that suffered

(I sacrificed both my shoulders to that ideology)

I realised it wasn’t actually hard to stand in the middle of a room screaming, crying and behaving in extreme ways

What’s hard is showing up, day after day, doing the slow, kind, unromantic boring bits

THAT’s hard

As for the work itself…

Permission to build it in a sustainable way

Kindness and all

So to you, my friend

Who is sitting on your coach eating your celebratory Ice-Pole

I say the same thing I say at the end of every screen class

“I hope you found joy in the effort”

I mean that

I really mean that

I hope you go out into the world and find joy in the effort

If you can do that…

I reckon you’ll be more than okay :)

Hope this helps

X