Into The Wild
I spent Saturday night in the wild
I’ve wanted to try it for a long time
Im not talking about camping, with tents and gear
I mean walking into the bush
Finding a natural shelter
Making a fire
And spending the night under the stars
So me and a buddy hiked a few hours into the Blue Mountains
Found a river
(And a Brown snake)
And placed our sleeping bags under a collection of big boulders where we had some protection from the elements
As darkness fell, the heartbeats started to rise
We had a fire
Some meat from a lamb I butchered a few months ago
And a hip flask of whiskey (thanks Jack)
But as we lost the light
So too we lost the sense of knowing what was around us
And at midnight, a crack of thunder burst through the darkness
The wind hurled ambers in our faces
The rain drenched our fire, taking with it the last remaining light
And water began to run down the sides of the rocks above us
Very quickly, we felt very small
And for about an hour, I didn’t stop smiling
I’m still trying to figure out why
Maybe it was the acceptance that there were so few things I could control
Maybe it was that I had so few choices available for me to make
Maybe it was simply being in nature, a place I have found solace in since I was very young
But reflecting on it in my warm bed this morning
There was a humility that night
One that maybe I haven’t felt in a while
That nature can put me back in the soil anytime she wants
And no matter how hard I try
How much I want to achieve certain things
How much I want to control things or be sure they will happen
At the end of the day
Im just a small vulnerable human being
Who has no idea why he’s here, or what what he’s doing
I think what I felt that night
(which Im not feeling even just 36 hours later as I write this back in my comfort zone)
Was the deep acceptance of not knowing
That I don’t know… and that that’s okay
Hope this helps
x
Balls in Holes
Once upon a time
I was helping a golfer
He was about to fly overseas to represent Australia in a big tournament in Canada
After hearing him talk about about the competition, the politics of golf, and all the things out of his control
I asked him what he wanted
He spent the next hour telling me what he didn’t want
Quite normal
We are human beings
Designed to survive
Always trying to protect ourselves from danger (both real and perceived)
He didn’t want to do badly
He didn’t want to land in the bunkers
He didn’t want to look stupid
But most of all, he didn’t want to hit a crowd member as he teed off
It sounded pretty exhausting
The infinite possibilities of things he didn’t want
So I asked him again
“What do you want?”
He got the gist, realising he was focussing on all his past frustrations and future anxieties
We began talking about the best experiences he’d had
The times when he felt proudest of his performance
The times he felt the most energised
The times when he felt in flow
He told me about what it was like to play golf when he was a kid
The play, the freedom, the being in nature, the connection, the clarity, the clean and easy swing, the focus, the joyful obsession
Then he went quiet
He was clicking into something
He looked up at me with an expression like a toddler
Carefree, present, calm, joyful, easy
And with a smile, he said
“Mike, I just wanna put the fuckin ball in the hole”
Thank You, Baba
When my mate Sam was in a coma, and breaking the record at royal north shore hospital for most days spent in ICU (446 baby!)
I had plenty of time to sit and chat to the nurses
This was at a time when I had recently graduated from drama school
Oh yeah, absolutely at the height of my pretentiousness :)
I remember Baba
One of Sam’s incredible helpers (angels), who had recently immigrated from Uganda
We were talking about film
I asked what her favourites were
“Love Actually” she replied
I laughed (but kinda scoffed)
She looked at me and smiled
And then said something which still gets me 10 years later
“You know Michael, not many people love what they do.
A lot of people work tough jobs, which they don’t like, all day,
and when they get home, they want to spend a little bit of time enjoying their life.
Maybe put something on the telly which helps them escape for a while, imagine a different life, find some bliss.”
Enough said
Thank you Baba x
346 Auditions
7 years
346 auditions (avg 1 per week)
Out of those, ive only really wanted 10
Out of those 10, I’ve got 5…
Thats a 50% strike rate when really want it
Mmm
Time for me to try something different?
Curious
What if I only invested my energy into auditions I really wanted?
DIY Career
Hey
K.I.S.S
Keep It Simple, Stupid
Here’s 9 steps to help create a career on your terms
Identify & accept your secret sauce. What is the most generous thing you can give to the audience that no one else can give?
Be clear & honest about what you really want.
Clarify how you have to behave in order to allow what you really want to come to you… then try behave that way.
Create a process for responding to pressure the way you really want to… practice it often.
Clarify your process for practice. Do you practice in a way which allows for you to actually get better?
Clarify your process for opportunities. How do you give the work you really want to give when it actually counts?
Clarify your game plan process. How do you prepare for your next role so you give your best when you show up to work?
Clarify your game day process. How do you make sure you leave set knowing you gave the work you really wanted to give?
Clarify your process for waiting. How do you live the way you really want to, regardless of whether you get the gig or not?
Hope this helps
Sending hugs
m
What Drama School Never Gave Me
Once upon a time
I was listening to a wizard
John Danaher
He was talking about the moment he realised why Brazilian Jiu Jitsu was dominating the mixed martial arts scene in the early nineties
What’s this got to do with acting?
Trust me.
For thousands of years
People argued over which martial art was most effective
Boxing
Wrestling
Judo
Sumo
Muay Thai
Kung Fu
Karate
Thai Chi
Etc etc
“I could beat you with my judo throw bro”
“Nah, I spent years meditating in a cave in the Himalayas and have a secret touch of death”
The argument ensued
Eventually
They began placing two people from different martial arts backgrounds in a ring for the ultimate reality check
And very quickly
They found the answer to the age old question
Which martial art was most effective?
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
“The Gentle Art”
But why?
Back to the wizard
One night
He was scribbling with his pad and pen
Why is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu dominating?
Many martial arts have take downs
Other martial arts have submissions
So what makes Jiu Jitsu so special?
Then It clicked
Whilst other martial arts had technical moves
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu had a SYSTEM
Simple steps
One, two, three, four
And you’ve achieved your goal
And at any point
If things aren’t going your way
You can disengage
And start again
A clear and simple system
Not necessarily easy
But simple
And simple means sustainably doable
When I heard this
I got so fucking jealous
Three years of drama school
Ten years of experience in the industry
Hundreds of classes
Thousands of dollars working privately with coaches
Yes - they gave me techniques
But those techniques were for the same areas
Over and over again
How to warm up my voice and body
How to analyse a script
How to break down a scene
All obviously important
But when I looked at everything I did as an actor
Holistically
On the daily
Every day
Over the course of an entire year
Every year
I realised I was only taking care of a very small part of being an actor
And neglecting the rest
So to clarify
Whats the most important problem here?
No one ever gave me a system for having an acting career
Mmmmmm
So I pulled my socks up
Made some changes
Created a system for having an acting career
And I went from sleeping on a wet mattress
To being nominated alongside my heroes
So I thought I would give it over to you guys
On a shitty bit of paper
I hope it helps
Now, all these stages of the system have their own subset of systems
I’ll break it down a bit…
To begin with
Lets look at the core
Our foundation upon which everything else is built
Why
Why do I act?
Whats my purpose?
In order to feel what?
Doesn’t need to be something heady - could be a feeling or a memory?
The body knows
How
How do I go about delivering my purpose?
If the why is clear, the how will take care of itself
And now for the actual stages…
1) Practice: Actually Get Better
Am I going to practice (class or private sessions) in order to get better?
Or am I going because I simply want approval from a group or a teacher?
Which is absolutely fine
I’m a human being
Our species has survived because of connection
So it’s built into my system
But I at least want to be aware of my intention before I spend money and walk into that room
Here are some things which drastically influenced the way I practice
One - Learning about the human brain, the way it protects itself & developing a growth mindset
Two - Learning about the training practices of my favourite athletes and artists
Some Areas of Focus:
What are the most important problems I have?
Whats my system for responding to pressure (fear) and how can I practice it?
Class - Why that class? Why that teacher?
Working privately with coaches / teachers - why them?
How do I replace a fixed thinking with a growth mindset?
2) Opportunity: Give what I actually want to give
Am I walking out of opportunities feeling like I actually gave the work I truly wanted to give?
Or am I walking out wanting to find the nearest inanimate object to kick and punch because I held back, succumbed to fear, and compromised my work?
Some Areas of Focus:
Whats my system for an audition?
Whats my system for a self tape?
What about call backs? or test deals?
Whats my system for a meeting?
3) Game Plan: Prep to play
Got the job?
Awesome!
Now what?
Ugh
The amount of times I got a gig
And rather than celebrating
I felt a gross gulp in the back of my throat
Complete overwhelm
Dear god now what!?
One of my favourite questions to help bring clarity and honest action…
What do I need to do, in order to get where I need to get, so I can give what I need to give ?
Some Areas of Focus:
Character - How do I build a character my way?
Logistics - What do I have to do in between now and the first day on set so that everything falls into place as smoothly as possible?
Support Team - If I’m the head of the department for my character, who’s my support team? (agents, managers, coaches, voice coach, assistants, family, etc etc)
MIPs - What are the most important problems that could arise and how will I deal with them?
To Do list - whats my priority?
4) Game Day: Play on the Day
My first few jobs out of drama school
I would exhaust myself in those first 72 hours on set
Because I was so afraid of being terrible
Not very sustainable
And the work would inevitably suffer
So how do I give my work
With joy
And with ease
All day
Every day
For weeks or months on end?
Some Areas of Focus:
Rest - “You want to play good? Sleep good” (Thank you, Cristiano Ronaldo)
Warm up - How to do this sustainably and effectively when you’re filming 14 hours every day?
Energy management - How can I give my best, on cue, all day, every day?
Rituals - How do I shift into gear when I need to? (And when I’ve been waiting 7 hours on set and I’m tired and cranky)
MIPs - Most important problems that may arise, and how will I deal with them? (Mmm how many times have a shied away from that difficult conversation on set and its made things 7 times harder in the long run)
5) Sharing: Giving the work to the world
I have spent most of my career in denial on this point
So the last few years have been a wake up call for me
Simply put…
The more people who are watching the work I’m in
The more opportunities i’ll get to actually keep working
I’m in the business of acting
Regardless of how much I might want to “just be an artist maaaaaaan”
I would like to be an artist, sustainably
For a long time
Reality check…
Daniel Day Lewis doesn’t get the Oscar
Unless he goes on Oprah and shares his story of how he found Lincoln’s voice
Then theres a story to sell
And more people go watch the work
And he gets to go work again when he wants
(or retire, whatever)
Buts whats most important here?
He shares the work his way
He does him
Which to me, is the real trick
So
How can I share my work my way?
How can I do media my way?
I’ll keep pondering that question
Some Areas of Focus:
On set media
Photo shoots
Short form interviews (ew)
Long form interviews
Red Carpet
6) Living: How to float
An important person in my life used to be a surf life saver
She told me how to avoid drowning in a rip
Most people think there are only two options when they’re feeling overwhelmed and out of control
Sink, or Swim
But they explained a third option
Floating
Sometimes the most helpful thing can be to just lay back and focus on the breath
But this requires some responsibility
The ability to respond
Not react
To whats going on around me
This got me thinking
If I want to have a long career
I’m guaranteed to be waiting
For weeks, months or even years
So how do I float?
How do I “wait well”?
How do I live my life
Fully
Regardless of no acting work coming in…
Regardless of whats currently hot or not in the industry…
Regardless of that director taking months to make that decision which seals my fate…
Regardless of those investors pulling out, causing the film to be put on hold… again.
How do I wait my way?
Some Areas of Focus:
Following curiosity
Taking care of those “golf ball” areas of life (Wealth, Health, Connection, Environment, Contribution, etc)
Dealing with failure
Alrighty
I’m out
My fingers are tired
If you have any thoughts or questions
Hit me back
Sending hugs
m
Start Again
Above is a picture of my boots
Might mean nothing to you, but to me, these bad boys mean the world
They symbolise something very special to me
They symbolise me giving up
When I was 25 I achieved my dream
And it was the worst experience of my life
After a decade of training, classes, wearing tights for 3 years at drama school, embarrassing auditions, humiliating rejections…
I was finally leading on stage at the Sydney Opera House
It was a beautiful production
Critically and commercially a great success
An amazing ensemble of actors
An incredible team of creatives and production crew
And a beautiful pair of brown leather boots for my character
I had every opportunity to fly
But I didn’t
I fell on my face
Hard
I realised two things:
I had no understanding of how to respond to pressure
I had no ownership over my career - I wasn’t ‘doing me’
As the nerves, self doubt, negative self talk and anxiety slowly began creeping in each night
I began giving up hope
And by half way through the tour, my best mate Damo (also in the show with me) caught me on stage smudging tears off my cheek with my back to the audience
I didn’t know what I could do about the sense of dread I felt before my feet stepped onto that stage each night
And by the time the show had run its course
I was a bitter, resentful actor
Quick to blame things outside of my control
Finding all the proof I could to back up whatever fearful thoughts I was having
I then had the opportunity to go be on set with DiCaprio for two days
I hated him
He was effortless
It looked like he was just having a ball
But most of all, it looked like he just didn’t give a fuck
Like he was just playing freely and giving whatever work he wanted to
I found myself excusing his on-set success because of other factors…
His fame
His hair
His cool vape
He even got to have his mum on set - I mean c’mon
And I became so… so tired
Of all the shit that I was telling myself
The truth was, he was doing what he wanted, and doing it so well
And when the pressure was on, when 150 million dollars was on the line and it was time for his close up… he nailed it
As I was watching him (creepily), I remember telling myself
“There is no way I will ever be able to do that”
And if thats was how I was honestly feeling, then why keep trying?
So I hung up my boots
Literally, I took my character boots (that I stole from costume when the show was done - sorry Kelly)
And I hung them up in my garage
I took up some other interests
Started studying some stuff I didn’t want to
I even became a part-time carer to my paralysed friend (miss you Sambo)
And if anyone brought up acting, I was quick to condemn it
The ridiculousness of spending a life being rejected
The lack of power in getting work
“Too many things out of your control” I’d snap
After a year of being in limbo
I received an email at 7pm on a Tuesday evening
And I quote:
“Confirming Michael Sheasby for his meeting tomorrow with Mel Gibson…”
“Michael does not need to prepare anything…”
I don’t really remember the meeting - I think we spoke about how to get rid of rabbits on farms?
But next minute, I was on set, surrounded by Mel Gibson, Andrew Garfield, Vince Vaughn, Sam Worthington
And a large ensemble of actors all playing soldiers
Dream case scenario, right?
Nope
Still, I was miserable
I hadn’t washed the previous years experience off my skin
I found myself trying to hide from the camera
Desperately wanting to be seen, but freezing anytime the opportunity came my way
And eventually my part was whittled down to the awkward silent dude standing in the back
I felt like I was falling on my face all over again
All this work, all this sacrifice
To try get opportunities
That when I finally did get
I choked
But there was something different about this time
Andrew Garfield
Again, I was watching an actor simply not giving a fuck
Giving exactly the work he wanted to
Generously leading from the front
But what was different, was that I focussed on his process
On how he was actually giving his work
The time he was taking before ‘takes’
The willingness to fail
The folder he was carrying around for his character
The space he would give himself to focus for what was coming up next
Something clicked
He was doing the work, just like anyone else
The difference was
When the pressure was on
He simply jumped off the cliff
He let himself fly
I didn’t sleep
I kept thinking about this
And I decided to start again
I began investing ruthlessly in external accountability
I researched who were the acting coaches to my heroes
I researched who were the best mindset coaches taking care of athletes I admired
I took my savings account my parents had spent 10 years putting my pocket money into when I was a kid (thanks mum & dad)
And I asked those coaches for help
I listened
I made some changes
And four years later I was nominated alongside my heroes
When I look back at this time, it fills me with joy
A time when I gave up focussing on all the things I couldn’t control
And started focussing on the few things I could;
My craft, my process, my breath
And things fell into place…
Its an extraordinary time
But I know if I am wanting a 50 year career…
Then this is absolutely the best time to give up
Give up trying to control the things I can’t
And instead, focus on the things I can
It’s the best time to start again
Why am I writing this?
Honestly, a film I’m prepping for just got delayed… so I have time
And over the last few years, there have been few things which have compared with the feeling I get from working on my own process
One of those things, is helping other performers with theirs
So they can put their head on the pillow feeling proud of the work they gave
So I’m going to use this time to pass stuff on
The stuff I didn’t get from any drama school, acting class or book
The lessons, tools, tips, principles and techniques which have helped create enormous change in my craft and career
I hope these things might help you find some level of comfort during this chaotic time
So when spring kicks in and actors around the world start dusting off their boots
You’ll have some secret shit to help you take over the world
Sending hugs
m