Taking Risks

QUESTION:

Hey Mike! I have this project coming up. Massive for me. But the problem is I am terrified of the role. It requires really deep work from me; physical skills, emotional access & tonnes of research. Part of me wants to try, but the other part is completely terrified that I'll screw it up, not deliver the work I so desperately want to, and that I will waste the time of the wonderful cast and crew I'll be working with. So how can I trust myself to deliver when the time comes? How can I get over the fact that I feel I'm not good enough to deliver? It feels like more than self doubt, it feels like to me that I'm actually not capable of giving the work required for this role. AHHHH! Thanks so much Michael.

Yours truly,

JD

ANSWER:

Hey JD

Thank you for sending this question in

What a bloody beautiful problem to have!

The gig is already on the table

Congratulations!

Now

To dive in and commit?

Or

Let it go and pass the ball to someone else?

Let’s cut to the chase

It is very clear - based off your question - that you want to do this

You desperately want to deliver generous work

The problem?

It’s just bloody uncomfortable taking a risk when you might feel like an idiot

And how understandable!

We are social creatures

Always in relationship to each other

(No human exists outside of connection to others)

So feeling silly in front of others is an important emotion

It’s the bodies way of saying

“Hey! Stay safe! Don’t get kicked out of the tribe!”

And that signal has helped us get this far as a species

Which is a beautiful thing

Therefore

Let’s not waste any time wishing away those fears around caring what others think

They are totally normal

And likely to continue for the rest of your career

Yep

Sorry to say

But I can’t think of a great artist who doesn’t care what others think

Doesn’t get self conscious

Or doesn’t get scared when it comes to sharing their work with the tribe

The trick is

They have something they care about more

The work they are trying to contribute

It’s not that they don’t care what others think

It’s that they are clear about what’s worth caring about more.

So

Let’s notice the dissonance (your body protecting you from rejection)

And bring it back to what you want most (contributing generous, playful & honest work).

Now

When it coms to “screwing it up”

Mmm

Do me a favour

Pull out a note pad and pen

And for ten minutes

I want you to write down the achievements you are proudest of

Then

Trace those achievements back to where they began

Where was that first tiny action step that started the journey toward that achievement?

What do you notice?

Chances are

That achievement

Started by you taking some small & uncomfortable first step

Let’s use some logic here

If the things you’re most proud of, grateful for, fulfilled with in your career & life

All started with taking a risk

No matter how big or small

What’s that telling you?

Yep

Taking risks is a totally normal part of the process

So

To be clear

You want to give generous work!

You are guaranteed to have normal feelings of discomfort pop up!

But what if you take the risk and it fails?

And you just fall on your face

Hard

Well

I have never

Worked with an artist, actor, musician, athlete

Who has said

“You know mike, I wish I never took that risk”

But I certainly have heard the sentence

“I wish I took that risk”

Very, very often

So

The question becomes

What will you regret less several years from now…

Taking that risk you were yearning for even if it meant feeling silly for a moment?

Or

Staying in your comfort zone and passing the ball onto someone else?

Just remember

Taking risks

Means there’ll likely be an increase in fear

And an increase in fear

Requires an increase in two very important factors

Slowness & Kindness

When you feel the urge to go hard and fast

That’s a beautiful time to go slow & be kind to yourself

There is a reason why so many generous artists behave in slow & kind ways

They didn’t get to the point where they could sustainably give generous work

By behaving in unsustainable ways.

No one wins by you rushing

And certainly, no one wins by you beating yourself up

So

Permission to slow down

And permission to be kind to yourself

Now

I’m really drawn to a particular part of your question

The words:

“actually not capable”

Ah

Okay

Now this gets fun

We can talk about the mental side all we like

But it seems there’s something here which might not be just a story you’re telling yourself

There might be a very practical reality here

If you can sit there and honestly say that the skills required are skills you don’t yet possess?

Okay

Go possess them

What do I mean?

Confidence will come from skills

From your body knowing it can actually do the thing

And reality will make you very aware of whether you actually have the skills or not to do the thing

So

What are the exact skills you require in order to deliver work you can feel proud of?

And

Just as important

Who are the best people capable of helping you develop those skills?

I don’t care if it’s screen skills

Theatre skills

Comedy skills

Emotional access

Horse riding

Character research

Building backstories

Boxing

Ballet

Blacksmithing

Whatever

Find out what you actually need to be proficient at in order to deliver work you’ll feel proud of

Then go seek out the best coaches, colleagues, mentors, etc

Who can help you develop those skills

Remember

Skill development requires a big investment of your resources

But skill maintenance takes a significantly lesser hit on your time & energy

Meaning

Those skills you’re investing in

They will be there with you for the rest of your career

Once they are in the body

They are in the body

No one can take them away from you

And

(In case you need another reminder)

Skills are the most important investment you can make in your career

I don’t know a generous artist who regrets the time & effort they invested in developing their skills

Curious what choices you make, JD

Hope this helps

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