What Makes You Valuable?
Once upon a time
I was sitting on a chair
Chatting with an actor who I very much respect
This actor is whispered about behind their back
By producers, directors & editors
Why?
“They consistently deliver brilliant work which serves the story
They rock up on time
They are kind and respectful
And they make every actor standing opposite them better
They literally raise the skill level of the whole team”
That’s one hell of a reputation
(Picture me looking up at them puppy-eyed)
Anywho
We were having a little debrief after I had just returned from my first experience of a lead role in film
He asked me how it had gone
My response?
“You know
I’m sitting with the realisation that leading on film
Is almost a style of it’s own”
He looked back at me
With a wry smile
And said
“My friend…
I couldn’t agree more”
Mmm
I haven’t stopped thinking about this
Maybe because of the sneakiness at which he said it
(Like Fantastic Mr. Fox passing on a little secret of where to find some delicious chickens)
Time has since passed
Summer came
I watched my daughter learn to crawl
I played with my octopus friends in the rock pool
(I think they get a bit annoyed with me these days)
And did my best to remain patient until seeing the film
That moment came last month
I finally got to watch the first cut
Six months after we spent those four weeks submerged in that highway side motel
My first attempt at a lead role on film
And?
To say I was bewildered
Is an understatement
What.
The.
Heck.
I had two years to think about that role
I had months to prep
I spent night after night combing over the text
I spent hours upon hours with external accountability (coaches & colleagues) in preparation
And all the work I planned on seeing
Wasn’t there
It’s like everything that I tried to give
Didn’t make the cut
And all that was left over
Was simply the stuff where I wasn’t in control
Where I was caught off guard
Where there was just a messy, breathing human being
Jarring to see
It’s like all the director wanted me to do was nothing
mmm
That’s not quite it…
Present
That’s it
It’s like all he wanted me to do was be present
And when I asked the director about it
He said casually
“Oh… yeah… I just want actors to be alive in-between action and cut”
So if I’m reflecting accurately here
I think I did my job in terms of preparation
But when it came to the work that resulted from that preparation
The editor and director favoured the takes where I gave up control
Gave up trying to show my prep
And that
Honestly
Feels a bit scary to me
This might sound dramatic…
But it feels like I’ve been caught standing naked
And I don’t like it
The fearful part of me is fighting for the audience to see something else
To see some smart choices, or strong looks
The cool stuff I prepared to give
But that was all left on the cutting room floor
And instead
I’m left looking at a vulnerable, confused, grey, mess of a human
(Like when Marge Simpson walks in on Mr Burns in the shower)
Yeah
Sometimes we don’t like what we see in the mirror
Now
What’s the potential blindspot here?
This movie is a psychological drama / romance on film
And it’s very much a festival film
made for people who love the craft of film
And obviously
That comes the prioritising of particular technical aspects
So what about other styles?
Let’s expand
Another example here
Comes from the passed few weeks
Where I have disappeared to, you ask?
I have been busy sailing the seven seas
YARRR
No seriously
I have been dressed as a pirate
Whilst pretending to be the captain of large, 150 year old ship
As it has been sailing around Sydney Harbour
With a hundred plus crew, cast & extras on board
Surrounded by the police, navy, tug boats, camera drones and diving barges
And one fake parrot
But
This job is nn episodic cop drama
American evening TV
Okay
A new style to sink ones teeth into
Very plot heavy
Very exposition heavy
And lot’s of action
Did anyone care that I was alive in-between action and cut?
Mmmmm
Not as important as some other things
Did anyone care that I understood the point of the scene?
The function of my character?
The fact that a shouted particular words?
Absolutely
I was there to antagonise the protagonist
I was there to drive a plot line
And the result-based directions were flowing
“Give me one that’s more mean Sheasby!”
“Okie dokie!”
What’s my point?
Different styles value different technical aspects
Neither good, bad, right or wrong
Each style having it’s place for the people who enjoy it
So where the hell does that leave us?
We want to give generous work on screen
And we want to do that regardless of the style
So where
In an ocean of options
Do we want to allocate our resources to make sure we can contrite generous work
No matter the style?
Preparation
And
Surrender
These two qualities are inescapable
No matter the job
No matter the level of pay
No matter the time allocated
No matter the colleagues
No matter the story
You will be asked to
A) Prepare your work
This means cold hard script analysis
Now way around it - You need to make it make sense to you
And
B) You will be asked to surrender to the present moment on the day
This means giving up control of how you think it SHOULD go
Trust me
Joaquin speaks on this beautifully
He can do all the prep in the world
Visualise his entrance into that scene
Pushing that door open and giving that look and saying his line that way
But when he rocks up to set the following day
The door opens inward, not outwards!
Say bye bye to all your lovely plans :)
Put all your eggs into preparation but don’t want to surrender?
Might be a bit exhausting trying to control all the things outside of your control
Put all your eggs into being present but haven’t done your prep?
Might be a bit selfish when none of your beautiful work actual serves the story
So
Get good at preparation
(making the script make sense)
And get good at surrendering
(giving up control on the day)
What’s the fun part?
You get to enjoy the dance between these two sides of the same coin
You get to relish in doing all of that homework & then throwing it out the damn window!
You get to climb that entire mountain of preparation only to reach the top and realise you now have to jump off the sheer cliff on the other side!
What’s my point?
Prepare to surrender
(Sounds delicious)
Hope this helps
X