What Makes You Valuable?

Once upon a time

I was sitting on a chair

Chatting with an actor who I very much respect

This actor is whispered about behind their back

By producers, directors & editors

Why?

“They consistently deliver brilliant work which serves the story

They rock up on time

They are kind and respectful

And they make every actor standing opposite them better

They literally raise the skill level of the whole team”

That’s one hell of a reputation

(Picture me looking up at them puppy-eyed)

Anywho

We were having a little debrief after I had just returned from my first experience of a lead role in film

He asked me how it had gone

My response?

“You know

I’m sitting with the realisation that leading on film

Is almost a style of it’s own”

He looked back at me

With a wry smile

And said

“My friend…

I couldn’t agree more”

Mmm

I haven’t stopped thinking about this

Maybe because of the sneakiness at which he said it

(Like Fantastic Mr. Fox passing on a little secret of where to find some delicious chickens)

Time has since passed

Summer came

I watched my daughter learn to crawl

I played with my octopus friends in the rock pool

(I think they get a bit annoyed with me these days)

And did my best to remain patient until seeing the film

That moment came last month

I finally got to watch the first cut

Six months after we spent those four weeks submerged in that highway side motel

My first attempt at a lead role on film

And?

To say I was bewildered

Is an understatement

What.

The.

Heck.

I had two years to think about that role

I had months to prep

I spent night after night combing over the text

I spent hours upon hours with external accountability (coaches & colleagues) in preparation

And all the work I planned on seeing

Wasn’t there

It’s like everything that I tried to give

Didn’t make the cut

And all that was left over

Was simply the stuff where I wasn’t in control

Where I was caught off guard

Where there was just a messy, breathing human being

Jarring to see

It’s like all the director wanted me to do was nothing

mmm

That’s not quite it…

Present

That’s it

It’s like all he wanted me to do was be present

And when I asked the director about it

He said casually

“Oh… yeah… I just want actors to be alive in-between action and cut”

So if I’m reflecting accurately here

I think I did my job in terms of preparation

But when it came to the work that resulted from that preparation

The editor and director favoured the takes where I gave up control

Gave up trying to show my prep

And that

Honestly

Feels a bit scary to me

This might sound dramatic…

But it feels like I’ve been caught standing naked

And I don’t like it

The fearful part of me is fighting for the audience to see something else

To see some smart choices, or strong looks

The cool stuff I prepared to give

But that was all left on the cutting room floor

And instead

I’m left looking at a vulnerable, confused, grey, mess of a human

(Like when Marge Simpson walks in on Mr Burns in the shower)

Yeah

Sometimes we don’t like what we see in the mirror

Now

What’s the potential blindspot here?

This movie is a psychological drama / romance on film

And it’s very much a festival film

made for people who love the craft of film

And obviously

That comes the prioritising of particular technical aspects

So what about other styles?

Let’s expand

Another example here

Comes from the passed few weeks

Where I have disappeared to, you ask?

I have been busy sailing the seven seas

YARRR

No seriously

I have been dressed as a pirate

Whilst pretending to be the captain of large, 150 year old ship

As it has been sailing around Sydney Harbour

With a hundred plus crew, cast & extras on board

Surrounded by the police, navy, tug boats, camera drones and diving barges

And one fake parrot

But

This job is nn episodic cop drama

American evening TV

Okay

A new style to sink ones teeth into

Very plot heavy

Very exposition heavy

And lot’s of action

Did anyone care that I was alive in-between action and cut?

Mmmmm

Not as important as some other things

Did anyone care that I understood the point of the scene?

The function of my character?

The fact that a shouted particular words?

Absolutely

I was there to antagonise the protagonist

I was there to drive a plot line

And the result-based directions were flowing

“Give me one that’s more mean Sheasby!”

“Okie dokie!”

What’s my point?

Different styles value different technical aspects

Neither good, bad, right or wrong

Each style having it’s place for the people who enjoy it

So where the hell does that leave us?

We want to give generous work on screen

And we want to do that regardless of the style

So where

In an ocean of options

Do we want to allocate our resources to make sure we can contrite generous work

No matter the style?

Preparation

And

Surrender

These two qualities are inescapable

No matter the job

No matter the level of pay

No matter the time allocated

No matter the colleagues

No matter the story

You will be asked to

A) Prepare your work

This means cold hard script analysis

Now way around it - You need to make it make sense to you

And

B) You will be asked to surrender to the present moment on the day

This means giving up control of how you think it SHOULD go

Trust me

Joaquin speaks on this beautifully

He can do all the prep in the world

Visualise his entrance into that scene

Pushing that door open and giving that look and saying his line that way

But when he rocks up to set the following day

The door opens inward, not outwards!

Say bye bye to all your lovely plans :)

Put all your eggs into preparation but don’t want to surrender?

Might be a bit exhausting trying to control all the things outside of your control

Put all your eggs into being present but haven’t done your prep?

Might be a bit selfish when none of your beautiful work actual serves the story

So

Get good at preparation

(making the script make sense)

And get good at surrendering

(giving up control on the day)

What’s the fun part?

You get to enjoy the dance between these two sides of the same coin

You get to relish in doing all of that homework & then throwing it out the damn window!

You get to climb that entire mountain of preparation only to reach the top and realise you now have to jump off the sheer cliff on the other side!

What’s my point?

Prepare to surrender

(Sounds delicious)

Hope this helps

X

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