Downside to Drama School

When I was eighteen

I had just finished high school

And my best friend was trying out for this place called NIDA

We had spent the previous four years obsessing over acting

Learning lines in English class together

Spending lunch times rehearsing group projects

Hanging out on the sets of the school plays we were about to do

Cloud Street, Romeo & Juliet, Sparkle Shark

We loved it

We loved putting in the effort

The effort was the reward itself

So when I found out he was trying out for drama school

I didn’t skip a bit

I put my forms in immediately.

My dad dropped me off in a suburb I’d never been to

And I made it through to the second round

At the call back

I vomited in the bathroom

And then was told by the great Kevin Jackson

That if I got in, I should say no

He thought I was too young

Too inexperienced

I giggled awkwardly at his remarks

He did not giggle back.

Several weeks later

I got a phone call as I was cleaning a swimming pool

It was the head of acting

“Darling, you’re in!”

Two months later

I walked into drama school

And on the first day

In the first class

In the very first five minutes

We were all given the classic acting employment speech

“1500 people auditioned, 25 got in

And some of you won’t make it to the end of this course.

But even if you do make it…

It’s likely only two of you will still be working ten years from now out in the industry”

Gulp

Okay

So the chances that we spend three years of intense training

60-80 hours a week

Costing us tens of thousands of dollars

And find ourselves in flowing work a decade from now

Is close to zero?

Great

We sat silently

Intimidated by our new Harry-Potter-esque staff members

Some of whom had actually seen Hitler in the flesh.

I remember walking out of that class

Sitting on the great old steps in the foyer

With my new motley crew of a family

And as we were discussing the sobering reality of our employment future

A big bus drove passed outside the windows along Anzac Parade

On it

Were the giant faces of not one

But two NIDA graduates from the previous year

They were the new leading actors

Of a massive TV show

Suppose to be the next big thing coming to Australian viewers.

Like a crowd at a tennis match

My new NIDA family and I

Followed that bus with our Bambi like eyes as it sped passed

Wait a minute…

If we are being told that the chances of us working in the industry are so low

But then there are two fresh graduates leading a big new show

Being marketed on enormous bus billboards all around Australia

What gives?

And it was then

That someone behind me

Said under their breath

“They got the best agents straight out of drama school”

Okay…

Noted.

First year came and went like a blur

Movement, Voice, Improv, Acting, History of Theatre

On repeat

And as we entered into our final term

I noticed something

There was an enormous attention shift toward one very particular thing:

Which third years were going to get the best agents?!?

At this time

There were two big agents that seemed to dominate the conversations

“Who will those agents like?

Who will they take onto their books?”

No point beating around the bush here

As first years

We largely looked up to the third years

And if the third years were caring enormously about who the agents wanted

Then it became very clear to us

That this was something worth caring about

The equation became simple

Get to the end of third year

Get an offer from one the two best agents

Get a lead role on the next big TV show

And everything will be okay

Noted

The next year

Same thing

The new crop of third years went through the familiar cycle

I watched two actors get offers from both those big agencies

I remember celebrating with them that night

“You’ll be here with us next year Sheasby!”

“If you don’t get an offer from one of the two big ones - you’re fucked”

One said with a laugh

“A six pack will get you more work than voice classes ever will”

Said the other

Noted

Another summer came and went

And as I put on my big boy shoes

For my first day of third year at drama school

I pulled out a piece of paper

And on it

I wrote the names of those two big agencies

And then stuck it next to my bed

So I could look at it every day

Every fucking day

Until it happened

Until I got an offer from one of those two big agents

Why?

Because if I got an offer from the best agents

I would get the best work in the industry

I would be on bus billboards a year or two out of NIDA

I would have secure, well payed work

With respectable colleagues

And then…

Everything would be okay.

Now

Back in those days

(He says with a raspy old voice)

When students graduated

They would go back to NIDA one week after their final day

Where they would go into an office

Alone

And they were handed a piece of paper

With a list of agencies who were interested in them

They were told

“email them and organise a meeting”

And that was it

The last moment of formal contact with drama school

The offical pushing out the nest

And as the years above us went through that experience

We realised that that’s when the students became a number

The number of agents that were interested in them became their value

Dave got 17

Damien got 2

Darren got Zero

I can remember waiting outside that room

After completing my three years of study

Shaking

Why?

Because I believed the next 5 minutes were going to determine my career

And therefore my life

If those two big agencies were on my list?

Everything would be okay

If not?

I’m probably just not cut out for this.

Then it happened

To my absolute horror

Neither of those names were on my list

There were a few names there

But not the ones I wanted

Not the ones I needed

And I fell apart

The old lady who handed me the paper stared back at me smiling

I put on a fake smile back

Said thank you

And went home

Where I closed the door

Lay on the carpet

And clenched my fists

I just wasted three years

I just took my loved ones on a ride of excitement and hubris

Only to now disappoint them

My friends will suddenly realise that I’m not what they thought I was

The best casting directors won’t see me

The best directors won’t bother with me

I’ll never get to read the best scripts

Or be seen for decent roles

I’ll never work

I’ll never get paid to act

I’ll never be an actor

Okay

Now

Looking back

This might seem a bit dramatic

But at that time

It felt incredibly real for me

That was the story I was telling myself

And I believed every inch of it

Why do I say all this?

What’s my point?

Over the past fourteen years

I have spoken to, worked with, interviewed, coached or mentored

Thousands of actors, artists & performers

Many of those being graduates of drama schools in the western world

And many of those not

And I have noticed one very important differentiating factor

Between young drama school graduates

And young non drama school graduates:

Those who have not graduated from drama schools have a more resilient relationship with representation than those who have

The agents don’t define them, their work or their value nearly as much as it tends to do so for fresh grads.

And to me

This makes a hell of a lot of sense

Of course!

If an actor goes to one of the best drama schools in the country

Regardless of being exposed to the brutal facts and reality around employment rates

There is still an underlying expectation that they should get an agent

And this

Makes them bloody fragile.

Yes

One must hope

Hope for the best representation

Hope for the best work

Hope for the best colleagues

But

Just because it doesn’t happen immediately

Does not mean it won’t ever happen

There is a brittle story amongst fresh graduates who don’t get representation they are happy with, or get representation at all:

It’s the end of the road for them.

After the last few days pondering over this dilemma

I can absolutely think of examples

Of actors who were devastated when their time at drama school wrapped up because of their lack of offers

Who simply fell apart in the first few months being out in the industry

Who cried it out

Grieved it out

Lost all hope

Only to wake up one day

And realise

It’s up to them

It’s on their shoulders

And so they made the choice

To keep going

To keep finding joy in the effort

And years later

Found themselves to be on sets they loved

With colleagues they loved

Getting paid to play at something they love

Unfortunately

I can think of far more examples

Of actors who let those first few weeks or months after graduating

Define them and the value they have to offer the industry.

A strange story comes to mind as I write this

I was helping a friend carry luggage to a cabin where we were all staying for the weekend

He said he had just failed his very first exam to get into med school

After years of listening to him talk about how he should be a doctor

I asked him what he was going to do moving forward

He said

“Go try out for law school instead”

Without even thinking about it

(And it’s still something I feel strange about to this day)

I laughed and said

“You obviously never wanted to be a doctor then”

He stopped

Stared and me and said

“what do you mean?”

Again, without skipping a beat, I carelessly said

“Being a doctor means decades of training

Decades of exams and tests

Sick patients

Dying patients

Literally a lifetime of failures and mistakes.

And you want to quit after your first fallen hurdle?

Sounds like you don’t really want it”

He went quiet

His shoulders dropped

And I embarrassingly realised I had put my foot in it.

But

Years later

He is now a professional novelist

He gets paid to read and write everyday

Why?

Because they’re his favourite things to do!

I just loves it

The effort of reading and writing is the reward for him

And so the obstacles in his way became little speed bumps.

My point is

If you love acting

If you really want to play and contribute your art to this world

Then do that.

Keep doing the thing that brought you to your training in the first place.

And if you finish drama school

And you don’t get an agent you’re thrilled about from the very beginning

Or get an agent at all

It would be bloody understandable

Especially after 3 years of underlying expectations

That it might hurt

Enormously

But

Please

For the love of god

Let it hurt

Give yourself permission to feel the pain, anguish, anger, frustration, embarrassment, shame

Whatever beautiful messy complex grey emotions show up

Feel em

And when you come out the other side

(And you will)

Remember

You have a choice in letting it define you

You do have a choice

Hope this helps

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