How to Wait Well

“Hey Sheasby.

I’d love to know how you navigate a period of unemployment after the high of a main stage show. I’m finding that one day I’m consistent and then I drop off the next. Without that external pressure of a rehearsal or call time, or even an audition to tape, I consistently have to mine that resource for motivation to be creative and ‘progress’ forward (whatever that means!) Definitely difficult. Thanks again.

Cheers, Larry” (Name changed for privacy)

Hey Larry

Thank you for this question

A few things to discuss here,

This question comes up a lot with professional actors

Why?

Well

Because the majority of an acting career is waiting.

The busiest year I’ve experienced professionally

I had four jobs back to back

One film & three TV series (2 BBC & 1 Netflix)

Zig-zagging between Australia, USA & New Zealand

6 directors

4 characters

3 accents

1 overweight bag with my life crammed into it

But as busy as I felt at the time

When I look back and do the math

The total amount of days I was actually on set during that year, in costume, filming in front of the camera

Was probably only around 45-50 days

What the hell was going on the rest of the time?

Sure - there is all the prep stuff…

Research

Costume fittings

Accent lessons

Private acting sessions

Prop training

Stunt training

Etc, etc

But even with all that…

Our industry comes with an insane amount of waiting

Particularly for actors

Waiting for the producers to decide if we get the job or not

Waiting during the negotiating phase

Waiting for confirmation of the contract

Waiting for the job to actually begin (This last film I just did, I waited 2 years for it to start)

Waiting for approval on character details like costume, accent, etc etc

Waiting to meet the director and cast

Waiting for the final draft of the script

Waiting to find out what scenes we are filming tomorrow

Waiting to be contractually released so we can try get another job

AND THEN

All the waiting when we finally do get on set

In between scenes

In between shots

In between setups

In between takes

My god

4am start, dressed and ready to film by 8 am, only to actually start filming at 6 pm!

So, if I’m going to spend more time “waiting” than actually giving my work in front of the lens

The question then becomes

How can I wait well regardless of external factors taking their time

Firstly lets just address the concept of fulfilment:

Just because we spent the day waiting doesn’t mean we have to go to bed unfulfilled

We have 3 requirements for fulfilment

One: Sense of Competence - Am I actually contributing value to the tribe?

Two: Sense of Connection - Am I doing this with people I have genuine relationships with?

And Three: Sense of Authenticity - Am I still able to “do me” within the tribe? Serving the tribe in a way that’s honest & aligned with my values, boundaries etc

Let’s take those 3 aspects into consideration as we move forward

Okay

The Golf Ball Metaphor

I’ll just give the quick version

A professor walks into the class with a big empty jar

She then fills the jar with golf balls and asks the class if the jar is full?

“Yes” They say

She then adds pebbles into the jar which fill in all the gaps between the golf balls

She then asks again if the jar is now full?

“Yes” they respond

She then adds sand into the jar which fill in all the tiny gaps in between the pebbles

Full now?

“YES”

Lastly, the professor picks up a glass of wine and pours it into the jar until the wine reaches the surface

Alright

What’s the point

The jar was full from the start when there were the least amount of objects inside it

This leads us to the question

What are your golfballs?

What are the fewest & most important areas of your life which

If taken care of

Provide you with a sense of fulfilment

Regardless of you waiting in your acting career.

Your health?

Your relationships?

Your wealth?

Your environments?

Your religion?

Education

Your work/contribution?

Etc

There’s a tonne of rabbit holes to go down here

(Which I do in my career course - shameless plug: https://www.actorsblueprint.com/course)

But what’s clear is that no acting job is going to magically come fix everything

I have seen so many actors over the years

Absolutely devastated at not getting the job

Not because of how much they wanted to actually play the role

But because of how much they wanted to escape from their situation.

Now, I would be lying if I was to say I never felt a sense of relief at getting a job

Like everything was going to be okay

But that feeling never really lasted more than a day or two

Before I’d come back down to earth and realise

The buck stops with me.

I have to admit

My life has never magically gotten better because I got an acting role

But damn sure my acting has gotten better because I started working on building a more fulfilling life.

Alright let’s go in another direction

As I started to mature out of my 20’s and enter my 30’s

I had more & more close colleagues

Working professional artists whom I respected and loved

For whatever personal or professional reasons

Reach out to external accountability

(In the form of therapists, psychologists or councillors)

And a theme which became very apparent very quickly

Was a theme of “of course”

“Of course you’re anxious”

“Of course you’re depressed”

“Of course you’re rattled & confused”

Why?

Well

Explain your lifestyle as an unemployed actor to anyone who has a degree in the mental health sciences

And they will probably look at you with some curiosity

Homo sapiens

We are creatures of habit

The sun rises

We behave in predictable ways and do habitual things

The sun then sets

Repeat

Now, you take the average actor

Kick them out of drama school or a professional job

Where they are told where to go and what to do at all times

And tell them

Go do whatever you want with all the free time in the world

AND you don’t know where your next pay check will come from

Which will effect your ability to eat and have shelter

Mmm

“Of course”

Now

Tell an actor to add some structure to their day and their might be a bit of resistance

To which I believe the most helpful reminder here is that of

Do the least you think you can handle

Remember

Amateurs try to lots. Pros do less, that’s why they do it better.

The point is

Give yourself to walls to play within

There are only so many days you can drink cocktails on the beach before your body starts screaming

“Hey… We gonna do something or what!?”

So

In addressing the second part of your question

“consistently have to mine that resource for motivation”

I say

Don’t

That sounds like way too much work!

Relying on motivation… that sounds bloody exhausting

Why?

Because that’s relying on emotions

Which change every second of the day

What do I think is actually worth relying on?

Brainless process

Brainless structure

Brainless systems

Processes which are so easy that they take care of the work for you

Keep asking yourself

What would this look like it was easy?

What would working on my craft look like if it were easy?

What would waiting for the next job look like if it were easy?

That two minute message to your reader which says:

“Hi. Wanna meet at mine on Wednesday at 2pm for 2 hours? We can chat for 30. Then self tape for 45 minutes each.”

That sixty second phone call to that class or course which says:

“I’m in!”

That one email to that coach that says:

“When are you next available? I would love to make progress”

Keep it simple.

Now, personally,I don’t believe in talent

But I do believe some artists are really great at putting themselves in helpful environments with other helpful people

Which makes growth and fulfilment inevitable

Make that easy

And the rest will take care of itself

Hope this helps

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