Tumbleweed

As always

I have no idea what I’m doing

(I’ve never met anyone who actually does)

I know there’s lots of times I like to pretend I do

Giving me a sense of control

But it doesn’t take much for life to pull that comfortable rug right out from underneath me

And for me to faceplate on the floor of reality

Here’s my reality right now

(As I see it)

Last October & November 

For various reasons 

I declined eight offers for professional acting work

Films, Theatre, Short films, continuing season’s of TV shows

And now

Tumbleweed 

Nada

Silence

Mmm

The peaks and valleys

The ups and downs

The waves of this industry

I’ve been feeling frustrated about this in the passed week

Then I realised 

I love it

I feel like the more my fears are urging me to sprint

The more this world is telling me to think about the marathon

To think about sustainability of my contribution 

I heard a really lovely quote yesterday

“Any time you feel the urge to speed up… slow down” 

To me 

I read this as…

Breathe

Go back to process

What do I love about this craft?

How do I audition my way?

A way which allows me to put my head on the pillow feeling fulfilled & grateful?

What’s actually most important to me? 

Who do I love doing this with?

What’s the easy & honest next step?

I can feel an itch

I want to play 

I want to contribute

I want to use the skill set I’ve been working on 

To give human moments 

To help share meaningful stories 

Mmm

Curious 

A wonderful actor I’m working with just messaged me 

He was feeling the pressure

Then his cat jumped on the table

The presence

The play

The curiosity 

And the pressure “melted away”

This

More of this

More presence 

More play

More curioisty 

:)

Sending hugs

x