The Call of Jealousy
I grew up in Africa
And no
I did not have lions in my back yard
They were at least 20 minutes away
But in order to see them
A tracker had to guide you to them
Sure, you could get lucky
Drive in the reserves and stumble upon them
You could be hanging on the outside of the car window and turn a corner and stumble upon four of them eating a buffalo about 4 yards from the road
(The fastest I’ve ever climbed through a window)
But in most cases
For people really wanting to observe lions in their natural habitat
A tracker is the best bet
But how does a lion tracker know how to find the lions?
Well
They track em
One track at a time
But
How does the tracker know where to start looking for the tracks?
This part I love
They listen
The lion tracker gets up before sunrise
Makes a warm beverage
Sits outside in the darkness
And listens
They wait
And wait
Until it happens…
The call
A deep bellowing
Unmistakable
For a lot of people
It’s the sound from a nightmare
But for lion trackers
This is music
They go still
They use their body as a compass
And they rotate toward the direction they think the sound is coming from.
This is their first step
To listen to the call
And then?
They go.
There is a saying among trackers
“I don’t know where I’m going
But I know how I’m going to get there”
What do they mean?
They know they will get to their destination (wherever that may be)
If they simply follow one track at a time.
A while ago
I was chatting to someone
About how lion tracking relates to acting
Where is our call in the darkness?
Our call to find our first track?
The topic of jealously came up
“Listen to what makes you insanely jealous”
Ooo
What makes me jealous?
Immediately my mind floods with mid-shots and close-ups
Scenes
Characters
Things that I lose sleep over
That I lie awake at night thinking
“God, if I could only give that”…
Sarah Paulson’s 40 second take in The People Vs O.J. Simpson
Ugh
She hits about 19 thoughts in one close-up
The full spectrum of her character is delivered without a single bloody word
Benicio in that monster one take wide-shot from Escape at Dannemora
UGH
Be still my heart
That level of generous performance
That, to me, is worth not sleeping for
It’s worth forgetting to eat for
If I could just squeeze my screen with everything I have when I watch those moments…
I’m going to stop immediately with listing things because I will never actually finish this.
What I’ve found
I think is both eerie
And yet makes complete sense
That the things I took note of years ago
Which made me insanely jealous…
Gave me the direction to find my first tracks
That one shot in The Nightingale
Is eerily close to that shot I have obsessively watched in There will be Blood
That one take in Lost Boy
Is eerily close to that shot I’m addicted to in Boogie Nights
The most exhilarating part about this?
I have no idea where my next track is
The scared & controlling part of me is frustrated by this
The curious & open part of me is exhilarated by not knowing
I have no idea what will make me jealous tomorrow
But I think it might be time to wake up early
Sit outside with a warm beverage
And listen for the call of jealousy
What’s my point?
Listen to the call
Listen to what makes you insanely jealous
And follow it
Hope this helps
x