Peaks & Valleys
Ups and downs, smiles and frowns
I parked my car this morning before heading in to teach the 3rd year actors at NIDA
I gave my phone a little glance before I exited the vehicle
Message received
08:45 - “…forwarding your agent this email I got from xxxx.
They want you for the lead role in their feature film, shooting in xxxxxx, USA”
Oh, cool!
What a way to start the week
Onwards.
I stepped into class and we started again
Focussing on the things we could control
Building unique systems and process to help us technically give the work we want to, when we want to
I noticed myself pacing the room
Slightly angsty
Mmm
We took 5 for a bathroom break
I gave in to my curiosity
I pulled out my phone
Downloaded the email app (I usually don’t have emails accessible on my phone)
And discovered a thread of emails going back and forth
My face at this point was about 4 inches from the screen
09:05 - “interested in Michael for the lead role “XXXX”, we are shooting in Late July 2022…”
My heart is pounding
09:08 - “Is he available at this time and able to work in the US?”
My breath is shortening
09:10 - “Casting is quite urgent and I'll have to push this to the directors if he's keen.”
Back and forth
Producer to casting to agent, back to casting, back to producer
The details
The glorious details
Lead role. USA. July
Cast
YES
Script
YES
Concept lookbook
OH YES PLEASE YES
And then…
09:13 - “Unfortunately it'd be too tight on this one…”
I stop
My eyelids give up and I let them close
Just like that
It’s gone
Done and dusted
My Monday morning roller coaster lasted approximately 28 minutes
I exit the bathroom
My back hurts
My neck feels heavy
My throat is tight
I step back into the classroom
And we start again
We get back to the important work
The simple, doable things
The setting up of little habits that compound over time
A bunch of things happened outside of my control this morning
A glorious example of the peaks and valleys of this industry all within an hour of time
Those ups will happen
And following them will be the downs
The balance
The reestablishing of order
This too shall pass
I might not be flying to the USA in July…
But I can still focus on giving my all to an audition I have tonight
Or take half an hour to sit on the headland in the rain with binoculars and watch the whales begin their long journey North
Or… simply take an hour to lie on the couch and give myself permission to feel what I’m feeling
To feel the disappointment
The frustration
The hurt
Then take a breath
And get back to it
Onwards
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