Advice On Giving Up
“Hey Mike. I’m having one of those “I think I’m done with acting” moments. I had a shitty audition yesterday that was the last straw... it’s been a tough 6 months and acting was really the only thing that was bringing me joy, or so I thought. I just don’t know if I have anything left. Any advice?” - J
Hey J
I love this
Thank you for clicking “send”
Walking away from acting is something I have spent a lot of time thinking about over the last decade
I feel like no matter how much time and experience I get under my belt
The thoughts and feelings about “being done” still continue to show up every once and while
On top of that
Acting is so walk away-able!
There is not a lot that stands in between where I am right now as an actor, and where I could be by doing something completely different
Let my rep know, a couple of awkward conversations, brain storm how else I’de like to contribute to society, go up-skill in that area
Boom
Goodbye repetitive rejection
Hello consistent income
Goodbye having someone else determine if I get the job or not every week
Hello routine
Goodbye “hey can you spend several days giving your everything to this audition for no money and for a minuscule chance you will actually get it? K thanks”
Hello balance, safety and security
Im laughing as I type this because I think I’m convincing myself to walk away again
What I find interesting here
Is I notice the western mindset tends to sneak into the drivers seat during these moments
It becomes an all-or-nothing energy
Black or white
Give up, or smash forward
Force one way, or force the other
Do or die
Make a life long decision right now!
It’s exhausting
The sadness, pain, anger and disappointment that I’m not good enough to continue and now if I walk away it means I have failed
Why?
Why does it have to be this extreme?
Oh…
It doesn’t
Around 5 years ago I began approaching these moments slightly differently
I simply began giving up… in little bits
Little, kind bits
For the day
The week
The month
Even many months
By simply giving myself permission to give up
I took away its power
Like Kevin and the furnace in Home Alone (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X2vXoR6XU8)
(God, I love that clip)
Once I gave my body permission to feel what it’s like to give up, I realised it wasn’t such a bad thing at all
In fact
It felt kinda wonderful
To just say see ya later and go buy an ice cream for a few hours
Play with sea anemones in the rock pool for a day
Go to the country and help friends out on the farm for a week
Sign up for that course I’ve always wanted to do for a few months
Giving up created the space for other things to come in
Life
Lets get to the point
I think something I now love about these “shitty audition” moments
Is they provide me a little nudge
A little reminder
For two things
One
Acting is only worth doing… if I do it my way, with love
And two
Put my life first
Two weeks ago I got released from the short list for an Apple series and a Netflix series… on the same day
I was pissed
Not because of the opportunity to play, contribute and give my work
But because getting either job would have a filled an area of emptiness in my life I haven’t been taking care of
So I got my little reminder
To put my life first
It hurt
For a little bit
But two weeks later
After taking care of some things, with kindness
I can feel a shift
I can feel my spine growing a wee bit
Standing slightly taller
Breathing slightly easier
And whether or not I get this next gig on Wednesday
Doesn’t seem to matter as much
J
What I’m trying to say is...
Permission to give up
It’s not good, bad, right or wrong
Give up
For a day
A week
A month
Heck, for as long as ya want
The craft of acting is not going anywhere
Shows will get cast, people will continue to graduate from drama schools, actors will become famous then disappear 2 years later
Babies will be born and people will be put into a box and either burned to ashes or eaten by worms
Acting will always be there for when you feel ready and energised to return to it with love
Permission to give up
Take a break
Take care of you
When your tank is full and you feel that urge to jump back in front of the lens with love and joy, it will be there, waiting for you, waiting for all you have to give
There is a you shaped hole in the universe only you can fill
It’s not going anywhere
Hope this helps
x